Posted by CareBear04 on February 22, 2005, at 20:14:00
In reply to Dysphoric Mania, posted by MoparFan91 on February 22, 2005, at 19:39:13
interesting... i'll just share some experiences and maybe you can categorize them since i missed some of the finer points of your distinctions.
i used to have purely "white" manias-- high energy, euphoric, magnetic, energizer bunny states that lasted months. i'd get so much done and feel so great, and people would inquire whether i was on amphetamines or wonder how i got everything done and didn't sleep.
when i had my first really serious depressive episode and was put on lexapro, it put me in a really bad place. the depression was blacker than ever, but while it had been the lethargic sort before, it became super-agitated akathisia like depression. this was nyc, and i used to go up to the roofs of high buildings with strong urges to throw myself off, partly from depression, and partly just because i felt so much agitation that i couldn't get away from myself. i had psychotic symptoms-- paranoid delusions that my room was bugged and people on the street would shoot me; visual hallucinations of blood and body parts; auditory hallucinations telling me to hurt myself. was this a dysphoric mania or a mixed state or an agitated depression? antidepressants in general tend to do bad things to me, especially without a strong mood stabilizer. the SSRIs are the worst, like for you.
finally, i've recently had high energy states where i've felt cabin fever and had to keep moving and cleaning and doing. i couldn't sit still but wasn't doing anything that productive. it wasn't a white mania; i was definitely irritable, which isn't like me. i couldn't sleep, but unlike mania, where i don't feel the need to sleep, this was like depression where i wanted to sleep but couldn't. my energy level was high, but it was too much for my mood to handle in a way. is this dysphoric mania?
these are some of the states i've had. thoughts?