Psycho-Babble Medication | about biological treatments | Framed
This thread | Show all | Post follow-up | Start new thread | List of forums | Search | FAQ

Re: ABILIFY or CLOZAPINE? which is best?

Posted by pretty_paints on December 7, 2004, at 18:47:33

In reply to Re: ABILIFY or CLOZAPINE? which is best?, posted by Sebastian on December 5, 2004, at 18:38:47

Hiya, thanks for all your replies. My email didnt notify me of them so I didnt think anyone had replied!

Ed_Uk, things arent very clear at the mo. I left Uni in January this year with depression, I really was very bad and had a breakdown of sorts. I was too ill to tell my doc about the sort of things I was thinking, so for about 6 months we jiggled around with antidepressants. Then when I was on Efexor and Mirtazapine. I got a bit better and started to talk more, and then all my thoughts started surfacing. I thought something evil had happened in my life and I believed my mum was covering it up, and that she was out to get me. I thought the docs and people were all in on it, and I got very distressed and scared. I felt out of control and didnt really know what was going on. I was convinced everyone knew about my life and that I was being punished for some small wrong-doing years ago. Blah blah blah, more of that. But while I thought all these things were true, I didnt see any point in mentioning them to the doc because as far as I was concerned, there was nothing wrong about them. Then I went into hospital and went on Risperidone, and then more and more thoughts started coming out into the open.

Anyway, as things stand now, it turns out that I might have schizophrenia, might not. Doc has explained that it could be because we actually have worked out that my thoughts started going wrong a long time before this January. When I was at Uni, I used to sleep in college and I could never relax in my room because i believed all the tutors were watching me through little video cameras. And every time I went and had a supervision, I had to try and get everything out of my head because I thought that everything which was in my head, they could read. So every time I went to see the Priest at the college, it would be awful coz he'd know (i thought) about every bad thing id done in my life.

Things had just gone downhill for a few years, basically since I finished GCSEs I think. But it was so gradual that no-one, and definately not me, really noticed.

However I dont think I hear voices. So that is why there is no clear diagnosis for me yet. Doc has said she will put down "psychotic illness" for now. So who knows. I guess we just have to see how things pan it.

Personally, although it may sound odd, for me it is a relief. To think that actually there has been something wrong with my thoughts, that its not my fault im in such a mess, that's a relief to me. I did a lot of weird things over the last few years. Lots of little things that, well they dont really seem completely weird, just a little skued (sp?). Like, I believed people wore "clothes" to display to the outside world different parts of your life, or your personality. Like underwear would represent your early life, blah blah blah. And even though its not totally weird, it still used to take me bloomin HOURS to get dressed every day, coz I'd be there sat on the floor analysing different combinations of clothes and what they all represented. And obviously I recognised this as 'not right', but I thought it was just my own fault. But now that I see that there was something not quite 100% about my thinking, it makes me think, ok, it's not my fault. Ok, there's a problem there, but there are ways to fix the problem, like APs.

Anyway look how I have jabbered on!! Its good to see you are from the UK Ed, things seem so different here than from the US don't they! What are you dealing with at the moment, if you dont mind me asking?

I've been at a bit of a loss tonight oweing to the lack of I'm a Celebrity - Get Me Out Of Here! Only Ed will know what I'm on about there, unless of course he has a life and doesnt sit around watching hours of reality tv shows like me! he he

Anyway night night all xxx


Share
Tweet  

Thread

 

Post a new follow-up

Your message only Include above post


Notify the administrators

They will then review this post with the posting guidelines in mind.

To contact them about something other than this post, please use this form instead.

 

Start a new thread

 
Google
dr-bob.org www
Search options and examples
[amazon] for
in

This thread | Show all | Post follow-up | Start new thread | FAQ
Psycho-Babble Medication | Framed

poster:pretty_paints thread:423943
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20041206/msgs/425865.html