Posted by DustBuster on November 18, 2004, at 21:01:43
In reply to Re: I quit taking Effexor too! » DustBuster, posted by MKB on November 17, 2004, at 2:13:42
> I think the terrible, sad, worthless feeling is the effect of the Effexor withdrawal. Is it not worse than you felt before you started?
I don't know. Maybe. Probably, a little worse. I completely forgot how bad it feels to be this depressed.
I joined a depression support group at meetup.com, and went to the monthly meeting last night. Nobody else showed up, so I went to my favorite bar and got drunk instead. This city sucks.
I yelled at my two sweet kitty cats last night, for no reason other than I was upset (and drunk) and angry and wanted to make sure they stayed away from me. This morning, I just laid in the recliner, staring at the ceiling for a couple hours, thinking about nothing. One of the cats jumped onto my chest, trying to get some attention, but I just couldn't be bothered to move a muscle to pet her. I can't believe that was just this morning. Seems like days ago, already.
Weighed myself, and was shocked to see I've gained back 5 lbs since last weekend (I'm horribly obese, but had been losing 1-2 lbs per week over the past four months). Of course it's most likely due to the fact that I haven't exercised once since stopping the effexor. The only time I've even been outside of the house all week was to pick up the mail, and to drive 60 miles round trip to that stupid non-existent "support" group meeting.
I really want to go back on AD meds, I don't want to feel like this anymore. This just really sucks. I'd rather feel nothing, like I did on effexor. But I cancelled my appt with my pdoc, and I know I won't be able to get another one for at least another three weeks. Besides, I don't know if I trust him anyway. Psychiatrists just seem to be pill pushers nowadays. Here's your script, that'll be $150, now go away, but first make another appt in a month so I can get paid then too!
I am just so confused. I probably shouldn't have stopped taking the effexor, and I definately shouldn't have cancelled my pdoc appt. I probably wouldn't have quit if I hadn't joined this damned message board.
I feel like such an frickin idiot, I'm even afraid to call up my sister, who has been such a kind listener lately. I just don't want to bother her anymore with my problems. I don't even want to hit "submit" here, since I'm so obviously just searching for attention from anyone.