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Re: ANHEDONIA

Posted by robot on November 13, 2004, at 20:53:01

In reply to ANHEDONIA, posted by Whit on October 14, 2004, at 20:41:21

Concerning the imaging... I dont think the inability to create pictures in your mind's eye causes the anhedonia. I think they are both coeffects of whatever is going wrong. Lack of imagination, inability to absorb/grasp information, no pleasure, no memory go hand in hand. I also have noticed not being able to form or hold images in my mind very well, even when its a memory. When I had a week-long remission it all came back--images were more 'there' and real in my head, along with the return of pleasure--sexual and general.
Ive come to see it as something with an identity separate from the depression. Because after 6 months of Lexapro and 3 of Wellbutrin, its barely improved, while I dont feel quite depressed. My world isnt totally black and nihilistic anymore, I can imagine who I really am and could be if not for them. But Im being forced to be this nonperson and that is as bad.

The only thing that has helped me is... meditation! And I suck at it. When I was really depressed I couldnt even begin to try, and I still relatively suck at it. But its helped and Ive only done it for a few weeks. I finally got sick of doing things and trying to enjoy, to jumpstart my reward system but it dont work. Im sure you can relate. So now I dont read politics, books, or watch movies much. For 'fun' I just sit on my bed or floor and either do focused meditation or just a half-asleep state of mind.
And its actually helped. After a few days of starting it again (focus on breath, forgetting word-thoughts) I could listen to music again (that had gone away when I had not been keeping up the meditation). Not that I am very much. Staying away from the things I need pleasure from keeps me from being stressed out. So what do I do with so much time? It FORCES me to meditate because there's nothing else to do! Its given me a little general well-being too. I feel my body, its more comfortable. Everything has just a bit more MEANING. And that pleasant light feeling I often feel when meditating just spontaneously happens (for a few seconds) as I go about my day.
If meditating seems too hard, you can throw on some decent music and meditate. Ive found it makes it easier to quiet your mind chatter.
Wellbutrin and running 30 minutes a day cant hurt either, but they dont do anything really (so far)if IM not meditating.


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Psycho-Babble Medication | Framed

poster:robot thread:403148
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20041113/msgs/415621.html