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Re: Friends don't like stabilized me

Posted by prodgirl on September 16, 2004, at 10:22:02

In reply to Re: Friends don't like stabilized me, posted by SLS on September 16, 2004, at 7:35:04

I have been in a "mixed state", "irritated depression", what ever you choose to call it for almost a year. Before meds, I was never like this, or at least never a person who feared going anywhere b'c I didn't know who I was going to be (witty, bitter, cry) I am having a harder time managing my life now, that is for sure.
>
> One question that you might want to ask yourself is whether or not you are better able to manage your life now. Does your life make more sense?

I have always identified with the hypomanic me. Lots of energy, creative work, great jokes...sometimes a little too much drinking. I only had one major episode, and that was way before I had seen a dr. I used to be able to get things done, to be spunky, just keep chuggin and get it done. My work requires 100+ hr weeks when I am in a project. Never was a problem before, always had the energy - now, I struggle. I have to work twice as hard. My productivity is down, my mental acquity, I just can't find the words somedays.

Right now, it's Lamictal and Neurotin. We'll see how long that lasts.

I am grouchy, bitter, sarcastic, self depricating. Still fun to be with in a pub and people watch, but I don't even want to go out of my house. Before mood stabilizers, I questioned what this was going to do to my self image. I can't even formulate one.

I lived a great hypomanic life. It's just the depression that came along with it deflates everything. In order to take away my darkness, I have to give up the hypomanic me.

>
> Do you miss the mania yourself, or do you miss the mania because your friends miss the mania?
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> Alternatively, some anti-manic medications can cause a flattening of affect and a loss of motivation and creativity beyond the management of mania. Which ones are you taking?
>
> Mania can be exciting, but it can also prevent one from maintaining an organized life and moving forward. Still, there are people who function in a continuous hypomanic state and do very well for themselves. You must decide what is best for you first. If it means building a new life and making new friends around a new you, it might be well worth it.
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>
> - Scott
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>


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poster:prodgirl thread:391353
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20040915/msgs/391476.html