Posted by Normal Again on August 6, 2004, at 22:07:25
In reply to SORRY TO JUMP IN - BUT HELP PLEASE?!, posted by corafree on August 6, 2004, at 4:46:18
cora,
When things got their worst for me and suicide was becoming a very real prospect, i suddenly realized something. Suicide isn't a choice, or a solution or a way to finally defeat the demons. It is the loss of all of those things. You lose your ability to choose, and to get better, and the disease wins. It may seem like nobody cares right now but so many do, and so many will suffer from your loss, you can't see that now but it's true, and when you win the battle (and it is a battle that can be won) you will see the truth in what i am saying, and you will be grateful for the life you have, i promise, just hang in there. If anything suicide is a way to spread this disease to others. So much hapiness comes from winning this battle, so much sadness comes from giving up and losing.
Something that helped me when i was at my lowest was to take stock of my life, and give it an overhaul. I looked into myself and found all of those things and all of thiose people that were negative forces in my life and decided to withdraw myself from them, rather than waiting for them to improve or to go away on their own. If that meant losing contact with so-called "friends", even life-long friends, relatives or my spouse, who i realized didn't play a positive, supporting role in my life, then that's what it meant. I removed all of the negative factors in my life and really took time to think about who i was and what i thought was my own personal definition of a "happy life" and decided to do whatever was necessary to make it happen. I had to find out who i wasn't before i could start discovering who i was. It didn't "cure" my illness, and it didn't happen over night, but it was a major step toward that end. It's not an easy thing to do, and some people might get their feelings heart in the process, but the ends justify the means, and if you take your own life a lot more people will get more than just their feelings hurt.
If your family isn't helping (and by supporting the idea of taking your life they definitely are not helping), then you need to find yourself a new "family", be it through a support group, a close friend, or somebody you meet on the street. Whatever it takes, you need to take control of your life and you need to get yourself help, so that you can beat back the the demons that haunt so many of us here and win your life back once and for all.
poster:Normal Again
thread:13781
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20040805/msgs/374899.html