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Re: I am at my witts end. Here's my story 4mygrls

Posted by Sad Panda on May 20, 2004, at 9:17:04

In reply to I am at my witts end. Here's my story, posted by 4mygrls on May 19, 2004, at 23:51:34

> i'll try to make it short.for a long time i was on meds for pms. i move to a new state and start feeling so unmotivated to so anything. i couldn't even get off the couch.the world could be ending and i wouldn't notice it. so i go to this pdoc and he says i'm bipolar ll. now this was after a fifteen minute session oh and off of notes that a counselor i saw one time and tried to give her my whole lifes story. boy was that a big mistake. so he puts me on trileptal. not much of a difference so we try topomax. oh, trileptal was tried for a month. the topomax put me over the edge. I was so psychotic. I was then suicidle,totally unstable and able to do nothing. my kids were my parents. i informed him of this and he upped the dose. i got worse and finally decided to give up. i went off the topomax and dumped the pdoc. two years later i go to see a therapist. she does this major personality test on me and it comes up with possibly add, bpd, bipolar and major depression. i went to a pdoc she recomeded and we had a major personality clash. she sugested someone else so i went to him. oh, she also was leaning towards bipolar cause of my impulsiveness. did i mention that my daughter is adhd? he puts me on lamictal. the wonder bipolar drug. again i'm nutts. up and down everyday. sometimes a few times a day. he uppes the dose and adds klonipon 3x a day. i'm a mess. i told him this at my last appt. i broke down in his office and that's when he rx the klonopin. I want off this damm lamictal. I don't know what to do? i don't trust pdoc's anymore. I started a new job training pets when i started the lamictal and i think i'm going to have to quit. i'm too emotional and can't grasp things. i just can't concentrate and think straight. i wish i could just dissapear.My kids don't need this. I really wish i would just die. but i don't have the gutts to do it. i just keep taking more and more klonopin so i can sleep as much as possible. I just can't cope. and my husband is mad at me cuz he thinks i just don't want help. I just give up on the future. i've lived like this for too long and don't see any hope anymore.

What drugs were you taking before when you lived in the old state?





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