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Re: I am at my witts end. Here's my story 4mygrls

Posted by Sad Panda on May 20, 2004, at 9:17:04

In reply to I am at my witts end. Here's my story, posted by 4mygrls on May 19, 2004, at 23:51:34

> i'll try to make it short.for a long time i was on meds for pms. i move to a new state and start feeling so unmotivated to so anything. i couldn't even get off the couch.the world could be ending and i wouldn't notice it. so i go to this pdoc and he says i'm bipolar ll. now this was after a fifteen minute session oh and off of notes that a counselor i saw one time and tried to give her my whole lifes story. boy was that a big mistake. so he puts me on trileptal. not much of a difference so we try topomax. oh, trileptal was tried for a month. the topomax put me over the edge. I was so psychotic. I was then suicidle,totally unstable and able to do nothing. my kids were my parents. i informed him of this and he upped the dose. i got worse and finally decided to give up. i went off the topomax and dumped the pdoc. two years later i go to see a therapist. she does this major personality test on me and it comes up with possibly add, bpd, bipolar and major depression. i went to a pdoc she recomeded and we had a major personality clash. she sugested someone else so i went to him. oh, she also was leaning towards bipolar cause of my impulsiveness. did i mention that my daughter is adhd? he puts me on lamictal. the wonder bipolar drug. again i'm nutts. up and down everyday. sometimes a few times a day. he uppes the dose and adds klonipon 3x a day. i'm a mess. i told him this at my last appt. i broke down in his office and that's when he rx the klonopin. I want off this damm lamictal. I don't know what to do? i don't trust pdoc's anymore. I started a new job training pets when i started the lamictal and i think i'm going to have to quit. i'm too emotional and can't grasp things. i just can't concentrate and think straight. i wish i could just dissapear.My kids don't need this. I really wish i would just die. but i don't have the gutts to do it. i just keep taking more and more klonopin so i can sleep as much as possible. I just can't cope. and my husband is mad at me cuz he thinks i just don't want help. I just give up on the future. i've lived like this for too long and don't see any hope anymore.
>
>

What drugs were you taking before when you lived in the old state?

Cheers,
Panda.



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poster:Sad Panda thread:348762
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20040515/msgs/348833.html