Posted by SDA on April 16, 2004, at 16:47:34
First a little back story: I guess I'd say I've been depressed for around 6 months. There had been spells of feeling "alright" or intensely worried/nervous. Mostly though, I felt extreme self loathing and near-suicidal depression and regret. The only thing that was almost constant was a very noticeable drop in my ability to think. I went very quickly from feeling like a genius to having difficulty with simple algebra and arithmetic. These problems started at least a few weeks before I felt depressed.
I've taken a couple different meds since about a month after the onset. Prozac was the worst, and almost agitated my thoughts to the point of suicide. I've been on Zoloft for 4 or more weeks now. I worked my way up to 100mg, but had to drop back down to 75mg because it just felt like too much to me.
How I'm feeling now: I still have feelings of unreality (or "brain fog") and occasional depressive/crying spells. Mostly I just feel mentally and physically ill with the absence of major sadness. I can try to do my class work (physics mostly), but most of the time my brain just won't budge; it almost hurts to think in the same way it hurts to bike up a very steep hill. There are other times, however, when the ability to think abstractly (calculus ect.) and juggle concepts around in my mind returns. These tend to be brief windows of opportunity, so I try to do as much as I can before I take another nose-dive. Trying to get my brain working in this state is much like trying to start up a rusty old lawn mower.In addition to these cognitive ups and downs, I also often get a fuzzy sensation in my head (almost as if pressure is being applied form within the skull). These feelings tend to get worse with lack of sleep, but sometimes happen regardless. I could be wrong, but it seems like they have become much more frequent over the past few weeks. Sometimes I feel intolerant of bright lights (i.e. its painful to stare at my computer monitor) and have difficulty focusing my vision.
I guess its feeling more and more like I'm bipolar (periods of "creative madness" and mental slumps). My question for you is if this is typical when one is recovering from depression, and if it ever smoothes out.
poster:SDA
thread:336972
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20040412/msgs/336972.html