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Re: OCD or BP?

Posted by snapper on April 4, 2004, at 16:51:00

In reply to OCD or BP? snapper, posted by katia on April 4, 2004, at 16:09:43

> > Hi Katia, if you are diagnosed as BP then there is a very good chance that you may have a 'co-morbid' disorder along with the primary disorder as well. For example- Many people who have BP II , like my self- tend to have a cluster of BP II -Social Anxiety and many times OCD as well - what a nasty trio of things going on in our heads... You may or may not have OCD- and if you want to know for sure then just do a search on the net for OCD and look past the normal symptoms of repeatingly wanting to wash your hands or checking the door a thousand times or making sure the stove is off a bunch of times etc. OCD in my experience, manifests itself in MANY different ways in different people- also the mere diagnosis of BP disorder can mimic the symptoms of OCD. Hope that helps clarify things. All I know is that OCD sufferers do tend to be overwhelmed with intense overload of sensory stimuli, etc. But so do ADD and ADHD people, it is hard to figure out. But to me there is just so much overlap in all these disorders!!
> > Snapper
>
> Hi Snapper,
> Does OCD ever go away on it's own or change faces?
> When I was little, I HAD to have my room in tip top shape, even w/ my little purse hanging just right on the door handle before I went to sleep. My mother would have to shut the door just right or I'd go bazeerk if the purse moved off center. I don't have that anymore though. Wierd, back then, no one questioned that behavior (70's). At least not my parents. Something was making me out act like that, whether it had to do w/ my environment or in my head.
>
> I also had very intense phobias, like fear of losing a leg, losing my hair, getting cancer, spiders, etc. All about when I was 10/11. Then as a teenager, I went wild. My room was a disaster and I no longer needed order. In fact chaos ruled and then came panic attacks and depression. So who knows. You're right. They all look the same (these disorders) and it could very well be BP symptoms.
> thanks for you input.
> Katia
>

Hi Katia, yes OCD can change the way it presents it self over time-- It seems that when I was young, and OCD first presented itself I was also afraid of 'things'! Afraid of household cleaners (chemicals) potential poisons etc. As I grew older I new that their were some thing about me that were quirky- But the OCD just kinda laid in the background and then teen years and early adulthood I figured out that masking a lot of my phobias and fears etc-came in the form of alcohol!I exp my 1st major dep. episode when I was 23-and then my OCD flaied up and had some specific phobias etc. When I came out of that episode and I started my own Business and was blessed with extrordinary success-but I had to 'always be in control' perfectionism set in and I found it hard to deligate responsibility to others-who were ,most likely capable of taking care of the day to day biz affairs-when I would go on vacations to get away from my "self emposed" standards of orderliness and perfectionism-- I would find it was very hard to relax and found Myself calling back to my office to see if everything was going ok or just right!!! Not to bore you but the mere fact that I felt I had to be in control of things to be done in precise order, was part of my eventual demise and downfall
ongoing tension, stress, anxiety and of course depression. I also helped myself self- destruct - by continuing to medicate-with alcohol and then of course another OCD spectrum disorder> Pathological gambling!! When I was semi-manic or feeling just right!! I felt invincible at blackjack and found my self to be hyper-perceptive in playing the game-I could most always
"Win and make huge gains! However , cuz of the repetetiveness of the OCD I never felt that 'It' was enough- so even if I could turn $50 into $500 or a few hundred into several thousand, IT WAS NEVER ENOUGH !! IT was not just greed it was the fact that I just wanted to play "ONE MORE HAND" and ultimately in the end the 'tables turned ' and the house won . Then instead of me playing with the Casinos' money and being satisfied with my winnings, I would end up losing tens and hundreds of thousands of dollars over a 5-6 year period!! The river boat casinos' here in my town -were ultimately ONE of the very biggest facors in my emotional collapse. Between the addiction of alcohol and the destuctive behaviour of needing to go back to the Casinos'- tore me down-I lost everything- banned my self from the casinos' (a state law that allows permanent banning from all the casinos's in Missouri- if I walk on to one and they ask me for ID- the system is immediately flagged that I am on the Black List and security will immediately come and arrest me for "Tresspassing" - I HAD to do this becasue I was either going to kill myself through the addictive behaviour or by the rediculous and sometimes fraudulent ways of obtaining more $$$$ to continue to Gamble- I AM DAMN LUCKY I AM NOT IN JAIL AND I HAVE VERY LOVING AND UNDERSTANDING PARENTS/FAMILY!So in regards to OCD manifesting itself in many different ways; yes It certainly does!!! Not everyone w/OCD has these probems-obviously but I am sure that there are literally millions of people out there who are having extreme and painful problems in life with respect to the self defating and VERY destrucive behaviours. I'm sorry If I've gotten off track here- I tend to do that- that in itself -at least in myself is a clear indication of OCD--- The need to feel that all details are NOT left out and the story needs to be explaind just right! It is very hard but am trying to re-build my life one step at a time !! Hope you don't suffer to the extent that I have described but hopefully may give you some insight into things that might be able to help yourself or potentially others out there - I firmly believe that If you "know whats wrong" you can work more effectively at correcting and fixing the things that are wrong!!! Your original ?, yes sometimes OCD and its ugly symptoms do lessen to a great degree or go away altogether for some!!
snapper


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