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self esteem issues and brain chemistry? help

Posted by jerimycoplo on March 29, 2004, at 3:11:52

Hi, I was wondering if anyone has feedback on this. I have ocd and social anxiety. At the same time I seemt to have real self esteem issues. My self esteem does not stay high (or normal) at all times. It has insane bounces betweeen higher and very low. Weight lifting is the only thing that can keep me somewhat on the positive side. This creates problems in my everyday life , especially in environments where I "feel" extremely scrutinized by others. (it really isen't about if they really are, it's my perception). This creates problems for me acting normal and confident in places like highsschool, close knit college campuses or veru clique social groups. The problem is that I know I can act normal and confident and when I do my life is very good.
Is there such a thing as self esteem disorder? Everyone experiences some self doubt and low self esteem at times, but what if it is EXTREME and makes one dysfunctional in their everyday life? I am not bipolar...but my self esteem is insanely different in different situations to where, i 'm not even sure who I really am...the sucesful, happy confident guy in the big city environment or the scared shitless looser from the college cmapus?
Is ocd and anxiety a cause, effect or different thing from extremely low and variable self esteem?
Can it be entirely environmental? I would think it is probably related to abnormal brain chemistry. Most people have a firm idea or level of self esteem. Mine is all over the place and if I don't lift alot or take meds it goes insanely down. I have to get lots of dates, women and work out alot and be huge in order to feel normal about myself....
Does anyone have any feedback on this? If my self ocd was "erradicated" and anxiety completely under control would I have normal self esteem?
Btw.: my mom sufferes from the same self esteem issues and inferiority complexes and ocd/anxiety; yet she fails to acknowldge it. I would like to do something about it.
Any meds, web resources, personal experiences that would help me?

appreaciate it
jc


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