Posted by selphdestrucht on March 11, 2004, at 2:46:54
In reply to Worried about my father...seeking advice, posted by mrgeek on March 8, 2004, at 13:52:27
> Ok...I'll try to keep this from being a book.
>
> Quick background: Anxiety runs in my family, almost primarily and solely on my father's side. I have social anxeity. My sister and father have what I believe to be generalized anxiety and moderate OCD. I also see some obssesive compulsive tendicies in myself, but not to the extent of my father and sister.
>
> My primary concerns are with my father. He is 45 years old. He has high blood pressure for which he has been taking a drug called ENAPRIL. He is slightly overweight, but far from obese. His diet is certainly not healthy and probably contributes to his high blood pressure, but I am convinced that the primary factor causing his HBP is his anxiety.
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> Am I correct to belive that obssesive compulsive tendencies can be and are usually a manifestation of underlying anxiety?
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> The major problem is that my father is not as concerned about his health as I believe he should be. He hasn't been on his HBP medication for a few months. He still eats whatever he wants, which usually consists of lots of butter/fat/sweets.
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> His family is from the "old school". A place where anxiety disorders do not exist and people just deal with their life day by day. I have finally got him to consider the fact that he MAY have an anxiety disorder, but I don't know if he will do anything about it.
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> The main problem is that his anxiety/OCD affects my entire family on a daily basis. He gets mad at the most minute things, his perfectionistic tendencies annoy all of us to the point where we often do not look forward to him coming home.
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> The doctor he sees has never suggested that anxiety may be one of the primary causes of his HBP. I think he needs to go to the doctor and ask the doctor about this as a possibility. I think I can get him to do so-but he needs me to tell the doctor what to ask, etc because he doesn't really understand it.
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> I have currently been taking Klonopin daily to manage my social anxiety and I'm wondering if a drug along the same lines might help my father out. In helping him out it would help our entire family live a happier life.
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> Am I correct to assume that since anxiety runs in my family and since mine is presumably somewhat acquired from my father that the same treatment that is helping me may help him as well? I.E., is it probably that we have the same neurologicial deficiencies?
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> Do my suspicions make sense? My father is 45 and he doesn't think medication can do anything for him since he's lived like this for so long, but I beg to differ with him. I dont think it's too late to improve his life and I really want to help in any way I can. What would some of you say or do in my situation?
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> All apologies if this board is not the appropriate place for this kind of question, but I am kind of looking for advice as to what kind of medication might help him along with ways to approach tackling his anxiety disorder.
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> Thank you for any help.
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> /mrgeek
mrgeek,you sound a lot like me. i'm 26 years old with a 56 year old father who has suffered most if not all of his life with what I believe to be severe anxiety and an accompanying mild depression possibly as well. He, like your dad, has high blood pressure, and does take some sort of medication for it (although I am not sure what it is called). My brother and I both have anxiety and I have been seeking treatment for a couple years now, I am now on Klonopin and Paxil, and I just got a new prescription for Strattera (I was on Adderall for about a year, but my pdoc said that he would not put me on a stimulant (adderall) and a benzo (klonopin) at the same time, so he took me off of Adderall and onto Klonopin/Strattera. Sorry to be on a tangent here, but I feel that some of this is pertinant information. I also suffer from depression, along with my anxiety.
Back to my father... he is a *VERY* high stress/anxious person, and has been for as long as I can remember, and he tends to stress those around him out as well because his anxiety is so prevalent and apparent. I love him because he is my father and he has provided so much for me over the years, but at the same time I cannot stand to be around him for any period of time. It has caused more than a major strain in our relationship, which is just now slowly starting to develop at a personal level. We have never been close, and he is a very private person when it comes to his emotions, or "feelings". My mother and he divorced over 10 years ago in large part due to his inability to communicate on a person-to-person, face to face, emotionally expressive, REAL level. The only things he can talk about are sports, business, the weather, etc. Things that are not personal. I have told my brother, as we have discussed our fathers situation several times, that one of my personal goals is to help our dad out. He is a great man and it really kills me to see him struggle, and never be able to "connect" with anyone on any real level due to his extreme anxiety. I have considered trying to get him to try something like a benzo or anti-depressant, but like your own father, he comes from the Old School, so to speak. His side of the family, for the most part, is unaware of issues like his, and would not understand nor be able to provide any real support to him even if he were to admit to himself that he has a problem and try to communicate it with them.
Basically, I'm in a similar boat as you. I want to help him so badly, and have tried on 1 or 2 occasions to "slip" the anxiety issue into our normal conversations, but he just does not let the conversation go there, or will laugh it off as if I'm talking crazy. He is so afraid to even talk about it. I can understand that, since he has lived like this for decades, but I want him to truly understand that there are medications out there that can greatly help people like him, as they have helped me. When I told him I was on a medication he just changed the subject, so this is a really difficult subject to try to initiate a conversation with him.
Klonopin has helped me out a lot, and I've been taking it for about 6 weeks, and am about to start Xanax instead (long story). I really feel for what you are going through, I can relate to it extremely well. I actually thought about making a post something along the lines of yours, but have not done it yet because I'm still working on myself. But I could not help but to get involved in this conversation.
Anyways, I apologize for being so verbose, but its late at night and I'm tired and not thinking as efficiently as I normally would.
I hope you have some success in your quest to help your father, and I would be more than willing to keep this dialog going and get more advice, feedback, etc.
take care,
selphdestrucht
poster:selphdestrucht
thread:322089
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20040308/msgs/323154.html