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Marplan Diary Day 21

Posted by Ilene on March 4, 2004, at 19:43:16

In reply to Marplan Diary Day 20, posted by Ilene on March 3, 2004, at 21:06:00

Second day at 50 mg.

I get to see my pdoc again tomorrow. She gets worried...

This time we are going to discuss hospitalization. I think she's out of her depth, and I'm not responding. I've been seeing her for over two years, and nothing has worked. She likes to titrate up and down *very slowly*, and I was out of state for six months, but still. I was in decline for the seven years before that, too.

I was a zombie all day. Hardly moved from the computer. Did not go to yoga, did not leave the house, did not pass go. Feel a litle achy when I get up and move around. Mostly my upper back. Just don't want to move.

Pdoc called my husband. He has this hare-brained scheme that I'm going to move in with him in California and be hospitalized out there. This just ain't gonna work. The man can be so impractical.

I have a consult w/ a psychopharmacologist in 2 weeks. Maybe he'll have some ideas. Pdoc has mentioned lithium and ECT. Can't say ECT thrills me, but I'm tired of waiting for something positive to happen. Problem is, then what?

I"ve gotten to the point of diminishing returns.

It's nice to know that people are reading my diary. I was thinking of stopping.

I.


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