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is this depression?????? in need of some input...

Posted by twinb57 on February 20, 2004, at 19:34:22

hello, i am 21 and have had depression since i was 8 years old. since i was 17, i have had some psychosis with my depression, but not very severe.

i was eventually put on geodon to help with my psychosis, and it worked for two years. but this january i had a severe psychotic break. i thought my skin was falling off and could see it fall off. i went to the e.r. and they ended up just sending me home the next morning.

the following week i was very psychotic and everything horrified me. i was in a state of horror all the time and my mind was completely out of control.

after a few days, i went to a mental hospital where they put me on 20mg of zyprexa and my psychosis has stopped for the most part. my mind is playing small tricks on me, but i think it may be because i am so depressed?

since i have gotten out of the hospital, i have felt extremely depressed.

but here is my question? is this really depression? i feel like i need to jump out of my skin some of the time because i feel so upset. then other times i just feel completely dead. then other times i feel very frantic and like my mind is working overtime and i can.t comprehend my own thoughts but very uneasy at the same time, not happy. i get confused a lot of the time and cannot concentrate enough to read a book. i don.t even have the attention span to be able to watch a movie.

i know this site is not for professional help. i am getting professional help but i don.t even know what i should be diagnosed as. my doctor says i have psychosis n.o.s. and major depression, but i don.t know. does anyone here with depression feel like i described in the former paragraph?

i am currently on 20mg zyprexa and 20mg lexapro. i am also on trileptal, but am in the process of tapering it down so that i can get put on depakote. does it sound like depakote would help in this situation?

my therapist thinks i may be having mixed episodes. does what i described above seem familiar to people with mixed episodes?

i just have no idea and am in need of some people.s opinions because i have no idea what is wrong with me...


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