Posted by nicky847 on January 5, 2004, at 13:06:01
In reply to Re: Another question, posted by bluesfan on January 5, 2004, at 12:40:23
I think that people become obsessed with thoughts of that which scares them the most..for you it is scarier to you to harm someone else than to harm yourself..so for you that is what your mind cant stop running on a loop..other people become obssessed with thoughts that have nothing to do with harming themselves or other people..but are still very disturbing to them..for your siblings probably when they say they felt suicidal i doubt what they mean is that they felt like they wanted to die..i know i dont..what they more likely felt was a fear that they somehow might spontaneously lose control of their bodies and harm themselves..like in a werewolf movie or something..in your case it doesnt sound to me like you would want to or could harm anyone..but you are very afraid that you might lose control and do that..
have you tried making a list of things you might do if you ever became "overwhelmed" by these feelings? by this i mean fail-safe kind of things that make your obssessive thought seem less like something that could be carried out on an impulse (b/c in reality its not)...sometimes it helps to make a list of totally ridiculous things you might do first..it sounds weird but it helps..Lucinda Bassett talks about this in her book..she had obssessive thoughts of going crazy..so she pictured herself going bananas..of dressing up in a monkey suit running down the street handing out bananas and kissing people..for me one thing i think about is that if i ever were to become overwhelmed by scary thoughts i would smoke a whole carton of cigarettes before i would act on them..not a pack...a carton..then i think about how impossible that would be to really do..and that kind of breaks up the loop for me..or i think that before totally flipping out i would first have to eat a whole bucket of kentucky fried chicken..or 10 sticks of butter..or just something totally gross that gets you laughing and gets your mind off of your obssession....if im at work i say well first i will have to climb one of the palm trees planted in the lobby and throw coconuts at people..keep in mind..thats the rule..if you ever decide you are going to go nuts you first HAVE to drink a bottle of Crisco..or something like that..if you don't do one of these things first you're not allowed to flip out..it sounds really really goofy i know but i have found it to be effective..
do you exercise regularly? i do and i find that after working out i feel alot better..it helps me get rid of all that pent up anxiousness
> I spoke to my siblings about this, and they said they felt suicidal but not necessarily homicidal. I wish that I could only think of hurting myself, that would make me feel so much better. I'm just afraid there is something else that I have that they don't.
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> > I think in your case if you are concerned about what medication you should be on, a good thing to do might be to talk to your relatives who have also been on SSRIs and ask them how the med worked for them...being that you are biologically similar to them, the way they reacted to the med should be a good indicator of how you will react long-term..for me i know celexa worked very well for me so i am pretty confident that lexapro will too...
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> > im not at all well informed on meds that are not SSRIs...but i am of the opinion that when dealing with any type of med it is best to give it time before switching to something else..esp. since these meds take so long to work..
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> > > I guess I'm just a little worried about being on the wrong medication. Someone mentioned in that post that they should be on an anti-psychotic. I feel like Lexapro is taking the edge off, but the thoughts are still there. I know Lexapro isn't a magic pill, so I don't expect results over night. I'm finding it easier to work now and do everyday things, so that is really helping. At least I'm able to get out of bed now!
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poster:nicky847
thread:295812
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20040105/msgs/296740.html