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Re: Lithium and alcohol, and ramblings

Posted by AMD on December 30, 2003, at 16:45:30

In reply to Re: Lithium and alcohol, and ramblings » AMD, posted by GreatDaneBoy on December 30, 2003, at 13:39:59

I was diagnosed bipolar about two months ago, by a young, inexperienced psychiatrist. Now, his diagnosis may be correct -- I do tend to show symptoms of hypomania at times, but not full blown mania -- but I have a hard time getting follow-up appointments and the drugs he prescribed have caused me nothing but grief for the past two months!

A summary:

* Was depressed in 2000 after a major breakup. No history of depression prior, although I had other related problems (eating disorders). The depression manifested itself as body dysmorphic disorder, for which I saw a psychiatrist for about two months, who put me on Celexa 20 mg daily, upped to 40 mg daily within a couple of weeks. This definitely helped, as I started feeling much more confident, and also less ADD-like -- able to concentrate more fully on tasks (although I have always overachieved regardless).

* During the same time, I had my first drink. And began a pattern of social drinking, Fridays and Saturdays mostly, mainly a couple times a month. I would classify it at that point as just social drinking -- got drunk, hungover like anyone, but it never affected my mood and/or mental status.

* In 2002 I began to get restless more often at work, and to drink more. Got irritated at work, felt stagnant, and decided to go off in another dierction professionally. I felt, if anything, more in control then, more intelligent and cognitive, with /excellent/ abstract problem solving abilities. Ravenous curiousity for life: technology, music, philosophy... really able to concentrate, very worry-free, enjoying life my life. Still on 40 mg Celexa daily.

* In late 2002, alcohol began to take more control of my life. Was drinking and now smoking more regularly, and often scheduling my day around the partying. Had taken a new job at a major hedge fund, and the partying was interfering with it. Still, though, it was not making me depressed -- I even started liking how it slowed me down, made me feel more able to concentrate. But it was definitely dominating my life, the "party" atmosphere. I opened up to my boss at the company about the problem, and said I was ready to change, when in reality I was still out doing the late-night, binge-drinking thing.

* In April 2003, I flew to California for my brother's wedding, and met there a girl I'd known from high school. We connected that weekend, and decided to give a relationship a try. She has a baby, which made things more complicated, yet, for me, a reason to really try to turn my life around. (At this point I was conscious that my life was poor for even a bachelor, but definitely not suited to a long-term relationship. I also began to realize I wasn't happy with how it was going -- I had lost control.)

* From April 2003 until October 2003, I limited by drinking, but would tell myself 'it's OK if I drink on a weekend' etc. But now a really dangerous pattern set in: every drinking episode now led to a binge and, for the first time, deadly depression following. I commited to starting a new life, moved across the country to be with my girlfriend, hunted for a new job, got a new apartment -- finally felt like things were going my way. But within a week of having started my new job and moved info my new apartment, I had the first of two binge drinking episodes that led to my hospitalization, and a deep depression that in the first case took two weeks to subside. Again, I continued the Celexa 40 mg.

This first binge, though, was tragic for a more important reason. For the first time, I was diagnosed bipolar, and the woman I'd moved to live with, the woman and baby I'd come to love, left me, citing the fact I'd been diagnosed bipolar as the reason. This crushed me emotionally. Her exact words were "I read about people on bipolar, and I can't be with you." Well, turns out she had ulterior motives in wanting to be with me -- but I digress.

Anyhow, as I said, I had been diagosed bipolar, and prescribed lithium to handle it, and Risperdal for a month to control the 'symptoms' until the lithium kicked in. I was also told to stop taking the Celexa.

Now, being told to stop cold turkey a medicine that had been (in my MIND) be life-changing in its way, was difficult to do. So I told myself, I'm not quitting the Celexa, but I'll take the lithium and risperidone.

So, I took the first lithium (300 mg) the morning of the diagnosis (a Tuesday), and proceeded to work. I felt a little tired, but dry mouth almost immediately set in, and I had to urinate often.

That night, I took risperidone (1 mg) and another lithium (300 mg), and in the morning, another lithium (300 mg) and my Celexa (40 mg). But that day I felt absolutely ZONKED. I called my doctor and told him the risperidone and the prospect of its dangerous side effects were too worrisome. Besides, I wasn't manic at that time -- just very depressed. I also told him of my hesitations taking the Celexa. He agreed that the risperidone wasn't necessary, but asked that I at least drop the Celexa to 20 mg for a few weeks. Again, I agreed, but ignored his recommendation on Celexa. That night I took the lithium again, but no Risperdal.

On Thursday, I woke up and felt sleepy -- and brain slowness had started to step in. I was consciously aware that my thoughts weren't as quick and analytic as they'd always been. So, I said, I'm done with this, and quit the lithium. I was on Celexa 40 mg again, and within two days had stopped feeling depressed and started feeling more of myself.

(Through all this I was mourning losing my ex, but what started as depression-based mourning was now simply true regret. It took awhile to get over this [understatement of the year], but I won't keep bringing it up. The part of my life is finally behind me.)

Unfortunately, three weeks following my beginning to feel OK again, I went to a party and drank again, and AGAIN ended up in the hospital. Without seeing the psychiatrist, I decided to try the lithium once more. I took it for about week before I realized, this is impossible. The brain fog had settled in worse than before, and I felt like a rock in a hard place: depressed on one hand, drugged out on the other.

I'll summarize now: the past two months since this most recent binge, I've spent about a week on lithium, and most on Celexa. In fact, I /never/ stopped taking Celexa until last week, which is the help I need now.

===========

As of last Thursday, I'd at that point quit taking the lithium for about three weeks, so having it out of my system, I wanted to reaccess the Celexa. It didn't seem to be working like it had. I found myself VERY anxious and racy-headed, something it had never caused before, and something I'd never felt before on or off medications.

So, I quit Celexa on Thursday, started Lithium (see previous post), and have now stopped Lithium. I want to see how I feel drug free for a change.

Here are my current symptoms, and I'd like some insight as to whether they're related to Celexa withdrawal, lithium withdrawal, bipolar, or something else.

Right now:

* I am extremely light headed, almost dizzy.
* Accelerated heartrate.
* Mental sharpness-- which to me yesterday was slooow, thus prompting me to stop lithium last night -- seems to be beginning to return.
* Short of breath.

Is this Celexa withdrawal (it's the about the fourth day without any).

Lithium withdrawal (started for a few days, then quit)?

Related to bipolar? Am I even bipolar? Could I have ADHD, or simply had all this trouble due to the long-term Celexa use?

I can say that I stopped Celexa Thursday and started Lithium Friday morning, just 300 mg, which seemed to be OK. Friday I felt a little foggy headed in the morning, but by 2 p.m. in the afternoon I was ok. Any change just 300 mg would be enough to be theraputic, even if it never gets my blood level up?

How long before lithium fully leaves my system? With such a short-term, low dose, it all this fuzziness simply in my head? I can note a HUGE difference between the 300 mg and 600 mg daily. On 600 mg I felt much more stoned. Feeling this way is half the reason I GET depressed!

... Damn, I rambled here, but I'm writing this concurrently with a bunch of parallelized sqlldr runs, a schema Export, and controlfile recreation in Oracle, so bear with me.

AMD

> Hi AMD,
> Are you taking lithium to control bipolar disorder? If so, talk to your doctor about Depakote. I was on lithium for a few months and I was stoned out of my mind (although my mood was stabilized). My doc switched me to Depakote and all has been well since. For me, it has the same mood stabilizing properties but no foggy-head type feeling. Alot of people on this board report having gained weight from taking it, but I didn't. Anyway, that's just my two cent's worth.
>
> Best of luck to you!
> Dane =)


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Psycho-Babble Medication | Framed

poster:AMD thread:294682
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20031225/msgs/294784.html