Posted by RacerT514 on December 15, 2003, at 15:41:06
In reply to Re: Does anyone have Avoidant Personality Disorder?, posted by zeugma on December 11, 2003, at 17:27:39
BillyM! What's up man? It is Tyler from the APD board, just to let you know. BTW, lots of people have left APD and gone to this new board called Blabyrinth that Arobin set up. The url is http://groups.msn.com/Blabyrinth
I don't remember seeing you around there at all yet, so I thought I should let you know, since the moderator at APD won't let us post anything about the Blabyrinth. Basically, all the old timers are there, and we have been having some good topics, although it is rather slow compared to APD. So anyway...
That is interesting what you say about your APD being no anxiety, just fear. Mine is transforming to that. In high school, it was all anxiety, shit, for 9 years it was horrible anxiety, but I kept on pushing myself in to social situations, for 9 freakin years. And now, I won't even attempt anything anymore, I just shy away. I don't go to any family functions, and I don't go anywhere outside the house without a drug. BTW, I am home from school right now, so the next month will probably suck, although I took a few xanax 30 mins ago and they are helping a little. So yeah, I had a bunch of stuff I was supposed to do today, and all I ended up doing was driving past every single place I was supposed to stop at, I just couldn't do it, my fear was too great, but the anxiety is virtually gone from those type of situations.
Sorry I haven't replied to your posts on APD yet, I haven't had enough energy to post anything the past week, and was busy doing my one final for the one class I am going to get credit for last semester...
Concerning prescribed meds, the Zyprexa worked pretty well for me. I have stopped it, though, because it really didn't work that great, and I just don't want to take another one of these long half-life (only 30 hours, but still pretty long) drugs that will only leave me worse off when I have to stop it. Sex drive doesn't matter to me either, I have none, and don't care for any, it is the LEAST of my concerns. However, I like being thin A LOT. I gained 15 lbs on Remeron over the summer and I hated it, so ever since then, I have been trying hard to stay thin. Actually, I just don't eat much at all, because there is way too much fear involved in going to the gym, or even for a run.
Seriously, I don't think drugs are going to cure me or you. The Zyprexa took away some paranoia and ideas of reference, but overall it just sort of sucks. There is an interesting post about personality disorders on the Blanbyrinth, about how they involve the entire scope of the person, and traditional therapy and drug treatments could make these disorders worse. It makes sense. Anyway, I think it is going to take a hell of a lot of positive reinforcement for us to ever feel better. Either we adapt to our surroundings (the shitty option), or we adapt our surroundings to us. I really want to live alone in the mountains some day, something like that would accept us. At home with nature. I am not sure how nature oriented you are, but think about that adaptation thing. I hope I have been of some help, and there is a lot of good info about meds on here if you do decide to try some others. Also, feel free to contact me about my experiences with Wellbutrin, Remeron, Abilify, and Zyprexa.