Posted by DeeJay on December 11, 2003, at 8:27:53
In reply to Surreal, that/Magnesium? » DeeJay, posted by Dog on December 11, 2003, at 8:12:55
It truly put a smile on my face that I have somewhat helped you in some way...however that may be. I had a horrible night last night. I felt like I was stuck in the mud, like my back tires wouldn't budge...I cried for like 2 hours....(it didn't help that I had a few beers at dinner, which I don't drink beer that much...just wine) and it sucked! I didn't want anyone to be around me, not even my dog. I went to sleep on the couch and my insides felt like they were bleeding I hurt so bad. And honestly, I can't tell you why. I think it might be the switch from the Paxil to the Wellby...I truly do. They do different things and I'm trying to see if the Wellby is going to work, but I have such little patience. Have always, with everything. Which is funny, because how did I ever think that I could be a psych? Help other people when I have these temporary moments of feeling like someone tied up my brain and I can't get it untied?....Ugh...I feel extra tired today....but I'm glad I have done something good, at least.
As for my dad, he had told me that my mom asked him to never marry again a few weeks before she died, and he's had the hardest time with that because he loves his present girlfriend...(who, by the way, was our costume mom of one of my friends in high school theater who we decided needed to "meet a nice man")...enter, Dad. They talked for a bit, my dad hadn't dated since he was 19,...then loses the love of his life and has no idea how to begin again. His girlfriend is 10 years younger than he is....(he's 59, looks 42) and can't seem to take the next step into marriage again. I truly think he's scared of losing another wife before him.
I know alot of my crying is missing my mom. She was sick most of my life. I'm not even 25 yet and all I remember is her in and out of the hospital, migraines, cancer, depression, you name it. And I hid from it by living at school, doing plays, going out,...(doing drugs..;p) and here I am, knowing that I'm emotionally paying for it.
I have some work to do, but I shall return.
Have a great day, and no. I WON'T have another,... not yet.