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Re: Hello gals... BarbaraCat

Posted by katia on November 6, 2003, at 14:39:03

In reply to Re: Hello gals... katia, posted by BarbaraCat on November 6, 2003, at 1:24:21

A long time ago I read "How Alcoholics Anonymous Failed Me". It was also a good support.

>Voice, a.k.a., The Beast. Another book that has been helping is "Sober for Good" by Anne Fletcher. She interviewed a bunch of people who have been sober for over 5 years about what worked for them. Some now drink moderately. Both books have been my no-drink Bibles. But I do crave it still and over-indulging is the best way I know to fan that fire.
> Good for you for being so strong, especially with the temptations at work. Do you remember how very difficult it was for you at first and how you were going to beg your doc for antabuse? Once you start feeling better physically and then mentally you'll want to involve yourself in things (dust off the bellydance togs?) and the need won't be so overwhelming.

** The horrible thing is, I don't feel better; I feel worse. I'm in a mild-mod depression now. I'm not having ANY high days AT ALL. It seems to have stopped my rapid cycling, but increased the depression. There could be various elements to that too. For instance, when I was still on Depakote AND Lamictal (decreasing the Dep.) and I wasn't drinking I felt quite good. It was also when the weather was good and daylight savings time hadn't passed. I'm just down now.
But there's something telling me "just get through the next two months not drinking and you'll have made your dark night of the soul". I can feel there's a lot changing in me subtley and majorly and drinking will just put me back to square one. It's too an important place in my life to not listen to the messages. and that's why I'm not drinking - I feel i've got support on a spiritual realm.
I was just going to drink thru' the holidays too, but (and this is my reasoning) I feel I have to break out entirely from all those excuses - there WILL always be an excuse. I just want to relearn entirely and stop playing these games. It's the worst of it now (and during the holidays) but I think I can get thru' it.
I actually did start belly dancing again. I think i'll change teachers tho'.

I'll probably order that test.
take lots of care,




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