Posted by jbec on November 5, 2003, at 0:49:49
I am at the end of my rope. I have never been as disgusted and disappointed with myself as I feel now. Aside from the fact that my life isn't turning out the way I hoped, I feel like the medical professionals are not only letting me down, but making me feel worse. Here is my story....
I was diagnosed with depression in the late winter of 2001. The reason I was diagnosed at all was because I booked a physical with my doctor. I was afraid I was ill with something because no matter how much I exercised, I was always tired and sad--and I couldn't lose weight. (Exercising is a natural anti-depressant and getting in shape usually supplies you with energy. However, I never had energy and cried by myself while I hid from my family)--so I saw my doctor.
At first, I was given CELEXA. It helped a bit, but was ridiculous with the amount of nausea and after a few months made me sooo lethargic that it was difficult to hold a fart in. I switched GP's (he retired), and my new doctor put me on PROZAC. After a few months on Prozac, the nausea continued and once again, fatigue set in. We then switched to EFFEXOR. My GP said it was more "activating" than the prozac. And should combat the fatigue well. The Effexor was wonderful. For the first few weeks, I felt great. I was exercising, ambitious, and happy. Then once again, after a few weeks extreme fatigue set in. I was sleeping all the time, and when I wasn't sleeping, I felt like a zombie. So then, we switched to WELBUTRIN. The Welbutrin was AWESOME, definitely better than the Effexor and no fatigue at all. After about 2 months, I hit a wall of fatigue and was once again zombified. All I wanted to do was sleep. The counsellor I was seeing noticed my fatigue and took over my medicating. She prescribed REMERON. The remeron destroyed me. Not only could I not get out of bed, but I couldn't even DRIVE! I felt drunk and weak for about six days. After six days, I took MYSELF off the Remeron. I was by far, one of the worst chemicals I have ever put into my body. Adding to the counsellor's "betrayal" (in my eyes), was the fact that she KNEW how much I was struggling with fatigue and lack of weight-loss, yet she NEVER told me of Remeron's side affects.I stopped seeing the counsellor after that.
So Today, I saw a psychiatrist after a referral from my GP. My GP's thinking was to get a "specialist" to come up with a medication mix that would serve me best. My GP wrote up a broad stroke description of my situation and sent it to the shrink. So, after the usual questions and filling out those usual questionaires to "Score" how depressed you are, the psychiatrist asked my drug/drinking habits. Not wanting to lie or hold anything back, I was honest. I have NEVER used drugs or smoked, BUT, I do tend to binge when I drink. (Usually 1-2 times/month). I am working very hard to change that. I also said that I am no longer exercising because I am just too damn tired.
I guess I should have lied.
No sooner had I said that, then the psychiatrist told me that alcohol is a depressant and that's why I am depressed and I'm tired because I am not exercising and I am out of shape. It could all be in your head. Or, it could be other hormones relating to the pituitary or other glands. But, Go back on Welbutrin.
Okay.
She ignored the fact that I told her I have struggled with misery, moodswings and fatigue since puberty. She ignored that fact that I didn't start drinking until I was 19, and she ignored the fact that even though, I am no longer exercising right now, up until 3 months ago I was able to bench 200 lbs and frequently exercised until I vomited (1.5hrs X 3 days/Week cardio and weights). And even though I could bench 200 and puked regularly with working out, I couldn't drop more than 8 pounds and my pants have never been tighter around the waist.
So... please... if you took the time to read this, please take the time just give an opinion.
Is anyone else experiencing things like this?
Is it in my head?
Is it physical?
Is it the medications?
Can you recommend medications?Thank you for your time.
poster:jbec
thread:276729
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20031030/msgs/276729.html