Posted by socialdeviantjeff on November 2, 2003, at 0:52:09
More drama from me. I am on the bleeding edge of losing everything. The relative anonimity of the net is nice because I can say things that I simply can't tell ANYONE face to face.
Here goes...
I feel like my depression and anxiety are running out of control. Meds aren't working. My body rejects them so severely. I don't want to start another drug trial. Especially since the next step is probably an MAOI or an antipsycotic since no other class of drugs seem to work for me. My cognition is so shot most of the time. I have no medical coverage.I can't get a decent job, the one I have now I can only work at about 20-25 hours a week at the most and it kills me. The fact that the EEOC is investigating my former manager doesn't make matters easier. I've lived with my parents for the last three tears. I've never been able to hold a steady job. My credit score must be the worst single score in the nation. I'd have more money if I was on SSDI than if I was working.(sick irony) Although I've been told I'm "not disabled enough". I'd rather work anyway, but I've got one foot out the door already with this job, and honestly don't think I can get another. Plus, I apparently make too much for Medicaid.
My closets friends are either unipolar, bipolar or schitzophrenic. I can't relate to normals, in fact I hate (and fear) them.
If my daughter's mother ever caught wind of my diagnosis (MD and GAD) that would add more fuel to her fire. She is an uberbitch to begin with. I've always been able to maintain a good relationship with my daughter, my only reason to be here, but even I'm beginning to slip slowly on that too.
There's more, but I'm running out of energy. I'm on the verge of bankruptcy. I'm losing touch with everything I used to love.
poster:socialdeviantjeff
thread:275674
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20031030/msgs/275674.html