Posted by katia on September 11, 2003, at 22:26:54
In reply to I is here, posted by BarbaraCat on September 11, 2003, at 18:53:01
I had to run off earlier and didn't get to write everything that I wanted to.
One, I DO appreciate your concern really. And it feels like your last post was not totally about me, as you said some projection going on. AND it seems that you are in a rotten mood tonight?, so please don't take this the wrong way.
I feel absolutely exhausted with how I solely have pulled myself up after where I was a year ago - in a suicidal depression, no insurance, no home, no job, pregnant. I've had to move three times in the midst of all this alone. I feel like I've made great strides with my persistance in this whole med thing and have a lot of courage and endurance/strength to keep going. I've done soooo much work on myself this year, including with medications. It has not been easy in the least to have this persistance esp. when you're feeling so down. I feel I researched different pdocs in the area, everyone was either not taking any new patients or booked two months in advance (including my current one), so i don't have too much choice in finding someone new at the moment especially when he's not doing such a bad job. I feel I do ask all the questions I need to and get responses. So in regards to you last post, "wimp" would not be a term I'd use to describe myself. I just needed to say that that word made me almost react and I realize that you are in a fiery mood and it's not totally about me and that you had my best interest in mind. I still needed to voice that.
Hope you're not feeling too badly in general. And I too get worked up about it all, but have come to a calmness about it all or it will eat me alive.