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Re: basket-case in a wave-pool Ponder

Posted by BarbaraCat on August 27, 2003, at 18:08:06

In reply to Re: basket-case in a wave-pool fluffy, posted by Ponder on August 27, 2003, at 14:41:45

Hi Ponder,
Your post could have been written by me, it was so familiar. Your comments on anxiety causing a spiral were so right-on.

I never considered myself BP at all thinking, as many do, that 'manic depression' looked like Patty Duke's wild and crazy form of it - very separate depression and loony mania. Only recently I realized that my 'depressions' were very different from what others seemed to experience and were instead very descriptive of bipolar mixed states. I've had the classic polar opposite swings but I never really equated the manic with anything except high spirits or disorganization, and the depressions were, well, vanilla depression. But then the mixed states, always with me tho infrequently through my life, were no longer an every few years event, but were fast becoming a constant way of life.

I think it was Starlight on another thread that suggested that the very intense almost psychotic symptoms in a mixed state are really more indicative of BP-I than BP-II. Mine certainly were psychedelic and nightmarish. I wonder, like you, if my 'basket-caseness' started off as unipolar depression but then devolved into BP. But looking back, the BP signs were there all along, it's just that the depression and mania were more separate and distinct.

My pdoc suggested Wellbutrin a while back when none of the SSRIs were working. I tried it along with Zoloft at one point because of the apathy I got with zoloft, but WB made me feel too wired. Today, I'm feeling kinda dopey and have given into the temptation of bed slug-dom. I feel perfectly OK about it but you've got me thinking about WB. Nah, I think I'll stick to Lam and low dose lithium. We seem to have many similarities and I sure want to frequently compare notes with you. - Barbara


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