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diary of effexor withdrawl

Posted by zalle on July 27, 2003, at 8:32:42

This is a copy of a diary i wrote while weaning off effexor. i was on effexor xr for 3 and half years and at my maximum i was taking 450mg a day (which was prescribed by my psychiatrist) Fortunately i only took this massive dose occasionally or "when i really needed it" as my doctor directed. i took about one year to wean off ..so that i was cutting up 37.5 mg tablets and only taking tiny pieces of it..... i had got to the point where i could not wean off anymore. there was no where else to go but completely cease the medication all together...this is what happened..

DAY 1: my first day without effexor xr. I got through the morning ok (usual dosage time), but by evening i started to feel really fatigued and dizzy. i felt it was only mild so i went to study but looking at the computer amplified my dizziness so i pardoned myself from the teacher and went home.

DAY 2: felt really fatigued today. Spent most of the day in bed. Didn't feel like moving at all because of fatigue.

DAY 3: the fatigue is getting worse. but my appetite has increased a lot. i feel really hungry constantly ..i'm eating heaps. i feel restless at night ..i really have to focus to be able to relax. if i breathe deeply i manage to relax enough to sleep. Dan (my partner) says i've been twitching a lot in my sleep. tonight i started getting head shocks ...if i lie down they go away but i have to keep really still. any slight movement sets off the shocks in my head. its really scary ..its like losing my consciousness for a very brief moment. i'm feeling agitated ...restless now....kind of aggressive.

DAY 4: the headshocks are intensifying. i feel scared because i'm getting feelings of anxiety and panic. sometimes i feel catatonic. the anxious feeling gets so intense i feel i have to put all my energy into fighting it ..so that i won't go mad. my energy is so depleted ..i feel so weak now. my vision is getting bad..really blurry. i often see spots and shadows in my vision.

DAY 5: i slept for 12 hours and had to fight to wake up. haven't left the house all day because my energy is so depleted. the head shocks are now severe. i've got to keep as still as possible otherwise the shocks start. the pulsing sensation they give starts in my head and shocks right through my body. whenever i move around the shocks get triggered so i have to lie down.....but sounds and lights trigger the feeling as well so i can't listen to much music. it feels really difficult to walk around. even walking to the toilet. my vision is worse..very blurry. i have pain today....through my back and down my legs. its a dull ache which makes it very painful to move. i'm going to take a painkiller which will be my first ingestion of any drugs since effexor. i haven't even touched caffeine because i've wanted to avoid any chemicals but i really need this painkiller.(codeine)
i forgot to mention that last night i had chest
pains. i had it on friday night as well. it seems to come and go but it really scares me because my pulse rate becomes irregular. the pain in my back and legs is getting worse tonight. i've got a valium prescription from the doctor that i may get tomorrow. i've been trying to prolong taking the valiuum until i really need it but my condition is getting worse so i think i'll fill the prescription and i'll just keep them nearby...just in case.

DAY 6: the head shocks are getting worse -still. i also am still feeling really fatigued . i had to go into the city today to see the doctor but i couldn't walk the 100metres to the train station so i got a lift and that was still difficult just getting in and out of the car.
i'm feeling more dizzy today and i'm getting the sensaton of feeling "spaced out".

DAY 7: my condition is still getting worse...when will it peak? the headshocks are more frequent.
i started to get extremely paranoid tonight. i kept seeing spots in my vision and my hearing has been distorted. i am also getting this strange "pins and needles" feeling in my body along with the pain.

DAY 8: i really had trouble getting to sleep last night. i felt so restless and agitated. when i woke up this morning i felt nauseated.

DAY 9: i felt so sick last night that i had a panic attack. i had to try extremely hard to contain it.....i did slow deep breathing and had a hot shower till i calmed down. i only got about 3 hours sleep because i felt so anxious, agitated and restless.

DAY 10: dan and i have decided to go to his mums place to get away from the city. i'm getting intense manic feelings. its like i have endless energy and i feel hysterical and then my energy depletes and i feel really low and drained. i'm having trouble now sleeping and i may take valium soon . i got this anxious feeling that stops me from relaxing enough to sleep.

UNFORTUNATELY this is the final diary entry that i have written on my effexor xr withdrawl although it definately was not the end of the symptoms. the main reason as to why i stopped was because the symptoms worsened. i got increasing feelings of panic and paranoia and spent most of my time focusing on remaining calm and using deep breathing techniques to try and relax. i did not have the energy to write.

2 MONTHS later and i can definately say i have got over the worst of it. the severe symptoms started to decrease at around day 11 and then diminished quite rapidly. some symptoms have still persisted....my blurry vision with interference spots and shadows being the most disturbing. i also felt that coming off effexor xr after having being on it for 3 and a half years required me to transcend into a different kind of reality. i feel more grounded but i also have been feeling "flat".
when i first began effexor xr it was for post traumatic stress disorder and major depression and although it helped me when i was in a desperate situation it did not fix the problem. looking back the depression i suffered was a combination of circumstance and situation rather than a "chemical inbalance". so in retrospect i believe that what really helped me was all the hard work i put in to changing the way i think and perceive things. its wasn't easy ..it still isn't but its better than living a lie.


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poster:zalle thread:245784
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20030723/msgs/245784.html