Posted by Barbara Cat on July 23, 2003, at 16:33:32
In reply to Re: Mild Bipolar - moodstabl-- lamictal, posted by Dali on July 23, 2003, at 13:34:46
Hi Dali. Welcome. All of us Bipolars struggle with balancing the bliss of hypomanic creativity against the frazzled disorganization, not the mention the paralysis of depression. If you haven't read the beginning of this thread then take a look at it. It's mainly been about this whole subject (see the 'Gosford Park' series). Most of us who have been there agree that taking the right meds haven't hurt our creativity at all. We have focus and energy to finish our projects and don't get lost in the distractions. The trick is to ride the edge a little, that is, don't overmedicate or you will feel numb.
I've had a very wild ride with my mixed states bipolar condition and was on SSRI's for years thinking it was major depression that wasn't resolving. Only since I've been on lithium and lamictal have I had any relief. I'm finally putting some creative dreams into reality instead of starting off like a rocket and then fizzling. I feel hope instead of despair for the future, even if we are governed by idiots. I still have wonderfully rapturous cosmic visions and insights. They may not be quite as psychedelic as they used to be but I least now I can remember them. I don't do nearly as many foolish and dangerous things but can pick my deliriums more wisely. Lithium has been a lifesaver for me, even though I'm well below the therapeutic window. Lamictal is the PERFECT partner for lithium and they seem to increase each other's effect. I personally could not do lamictal alone and need lithium for the calm center it provides.
Yes, forgetting stuff and feeling like you're in a ping-pong machine is faily common. It's not all the time so I don't think it's ADD but it sure can look like it. I get real frustrated with myself when I'm in the grip of it. Everything distracts me and I feel like a complete airhead which I'm not. I could be on my way to the bathroom to stock the t.p. and get sidetracked a dozen times, eventually remembering where I was headed but now the toilet paper has disappeared. I usually find it under the sink or in the freezer or, or... I also get kinda spastic, dropping things, setting things on top of stuff so that everything falls and makes more of a mess. I can't remember what others have told me like dates, facts, important info although I recall having a lively discussion at the time. I have to remember to BREATHE slowly during these times cause I'm usually holding my breath and that makes for more anxiety. So, welcome to the club and be thankful that God gave us DRUGS. - Barbara