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Re: effexor and smoking pasdenom

Posted by NThompson on July 14, 2003, at 8:10:08

In reply to effexor and smoking, posted by pasdenom on July 13, 2003, at 10:14:39

Well, good morning. I dobelieve that Effexor does increase the urge to smoke. As I just came in from smoking. I use to only smoke once in a blue moon. Mainly if I was out with friends and drinking. Which I usually was the designated driver because I have 2 children, and if something happened in the middle of the night I would want to take care of them. Anyway, I am now smoking 3-4 cigarettes a day and can't figure out why I am doing so. However the good side to that is I now have less of a craving for Pepsi! Which will hopefully help me lose weight.

And on a personal note, I now wht it is like losing a baby. I have lost 3. I didn't get as far as delivering them however. I had 2 miscarriages and one etopic pregnancy(tubal). It is amazing the way that they(the babies) can make you feel. It's this powerful joy and happiness that is so warm and comforting. When you lose them you feel a cold whole in your body that seems to go on and on. I think my husband and I were lucky, after the 2 miscarriages, I got pregnant again, put on bed rest, gained 120 pounds and after a shaky pregnancy, had a very healthy baby girl(now 6) then a few years later I got pregnant again, on bed rest again, and that pregnancy went so much better. However, our baby boy was born blue, the cord wrapped around his throat, but they got him breathing and gave him oxygen. He is a very healthy and loving 2 year old. Then I got pregnant again and in the third month I had horrid pains, doubled over and couldn't stand. I thought that I was miscarriaging again, though I hadn't been bleeding this time. I went to the doctors and they did and ultrasound, found out that the baby was in my right tube and that the baby was over 4cm and about to burst my tube. I had emergency surgery. They had to remove my hole tube. It was already ripping.

I feel as though I go through the questions of why? Why did they die and not make it? Did I do anything that wrong? Was there something I could have done that would have saved them. What would they have been like? I have found that if I ask myself these questions it literally drives my insane. Because the truth is that I don't know why or what if. All I know is that with having patience, I received 2 beautiful children. I almost screwed that up by atempting suicide at the beginning of June this year. I am starting to feel better now. But I was in a very dark and lonely place. I wanted to go to sleep and just stay there. I thought that my family would be better off without me. Boy, I was wrong. that's when I found out how much I was loved, wanted and needed. I am getting help now. I do feel better and try to stay warm. That cold lonely place is a ruff place to be. Just remember, if I had completed the suicide, I would have been remembered for that. Not the wonderful memories I had created for my family and friends.

Take care of yourself and please, find us if you need help or someone to talk to.

NThompson


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