Posted by Caleb462 on July 1, 2003, at 23:18:16
In reply to Help I am a slave to my meds!, posted by maxflash5 on July 1, 2003, at 20:33:18
> Started medication in February for depression with hypomania. Started with Lexapro and couldn't handle much...side effect of diarrhea and joint aches and poor sleeping with severe neck and jaw muscle tension and wringing twisting fingers. Added Neurontin and then impossible reflux...stopped the neurontin while away in Italy at the start of the war because I couldn't take the GERD. Returned stateside and my psychiatrist dropped me for quitting the neurontin!
> Went to a new practitioner and tried to change to small dose of Risperdal and had to quit this quickly for severe dizziness.
> Started Fluoxetine with little side effect ...still with muscle tenssion of neck and jaw but not severe...still twisting fingers but not as bad.Still with poor sleeping but more focused. Added Depakote...a little less muscle tension but still it continues. Sleeping remains poor. Through all this impulse eating,buying and spending has increased significantly....(but didn't seem to notice until now as I am taking myself off Depakote! and looking back.)Back to the schedule... we increased Depakote to try for optimum effect....now vivid dreams all night...will not break away from dreams...only to hit snooze and keep going back....thoughts are scattered...sit at green light and ask myself is green a go or stop color?
> I have been living for 45 years without meds...now in 5 months I have lost more of my sanity and control by using the very meds prescribed to treat me. Is it worth pursuing??? I have lived with misery and paranoia and all the rest of it...at least I felt more in control...because it was all I ever new.Hmm.. well ask yourself this question. Would you rather continue searching for the right meds and eventually end up with that something that works... or give up and be a slave, not to your meds, but to your condition?
It is tough, many many folks here can attest to that... but atleast when you're on the hunt for meds that work you can have hope.. when you give up, that's it - you give up. It has been close to 2 years since I started on meds, have I found the right combo yet? Nope.. but I'm getting there. Luckily, I haven't had to deal with horrible side effects really. The SSRIs were all very easy on me, cept for perhaps Paxil... The only med I'm having a problem with now is Anafranil (SEVERE sweating, TERRIBLE SEVERE constipation), but it has only been a few weeks since I started it - so I'm keepin faith.
You said you increased the Depakote... recently I assume? If it hasn't been long, give it time... and the vivid dreams will hopefully go away or atleast decrease.
And don't forget there are many other meds you can try to help with hypomania... Lithium of course, and Lamictal, Trileptal, Topamax, etc. Lamictal seems to be a popular choice for many... and Lithium has years and years of use behind it.
Don't give up. Giving up SUCKS. I have wanted to give up many many times in the last couple years, but I refused to and I still do. Why? Because the earth is a beautiful wonderous place, and life is a terrifying, but magical thing.
I'll put it this way... sometimes you have to go through hell, before you get to heaven.
poster:Caleb462
thread:238594
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20030701/msgs/238643.html