Posted by pork chop on April 11, 2003, at 10:51:02
In reply to scapegoating and crying...*sniff*, posted by fluffy on April 11, 2003, at 10:24:10
Hi Fluffy and all,
When I was first diagnosed I would blame BP for every little screw up, but now I wonder if I would have acted the same way without medication. Ya know?
When I get a little too extreme I mean things like lashing out at people around me, becoming insanely jealous with the boyfriend, convincing myself I have diseases that I don't have, (I was so convinced I had HIV I got tested and bothered my doctor round the clock about the results for 2 weeks- they came back negative), spending obsene amounts of money, racing thoughts, messed up communications with co-workers, lots of alcohal use, binging and purging, exessive exercising- the list goes on...
I don't tell my boyfriend that BP is the root of all my bad behavior and even if I did, I don't think he'd buy it. He knows my situation and I think he realizes I don't mean to be such a nut with him. He's really supportive and patient, thank god.
What do the rest of you think?
Right now I'm scared b/c I thought I was at the right level with Seroquel but I'm using larger amounts to get to sleep now at night. My pdoc told me I could increase the dosage, but I hate to get into that, this is wearing off I need to try something else cycle again. I can't tell what is helping more with my mood, the Lam or the Seroquel. This is so annoying-
Hope all is well- pc