Posted by jemma on March 14, 2003, at 13:35:35
I'm new posting here, but since I found the site I've spent a LOT of time listening (I feel that's a better word than lurking, which sounds kind of creepy) and reading through the archives. I've learned so much from all of you, and feel very grateful to Dr. Bob for providing this site and keeping it safe from the silliness that infects so many other forums. Thanks to what I've learned here, I've managed to quietly move away from ssri's (ten years on zoloft, six months on effexor - I've also tried lithium, lamictal, serzone, remeron, wellbutrin) toward more activating drugs. I learned about modafinil from all of you, and introduced its use as an ad to my pdoc. To his surprise, it's worked very well to increase my energy and brighten my mood. He then tried me on ritalin, which worked for me like valium - calmed me down, even made me sleepy. This convinced him I had add, inattentive type, a diagnosis which has changed my life. So I have you to thank for that too.
My other diagnoses, by the way, are lifelong dysthymia and bipolar 1 - recurrent major depression with one spectacularly psychotic manic episode in my 20s and a few hypomanic episodes since. I'm also a recovering alcoholic and addict, and I'm now in my 40s.
As all you ritalin users know, there are problems with this drug. Ritalin increases my blood pressure by quite a lot, and even the extended release form wears off in a few hours. The letdown is considerable, and I spend a few hours a day more scattered and disorganized than I've ever been. Adderal is not available in Canada, where I live, and dexedrine makes me nervous - I spent some time as a teenage speed freak. In fact, because of my addiction history (ten years clean, by the way) I like to stay away from drugs that produce immediate mood-altering effects. I prefer the ones that build up in my system over time and work their magic subtly. I no longer want to escape my life or numb my experience - quite the opposite, I want to engage reality as fully and clear-headedly as possible.
With some difficulty, I was able to persuade my pdoc to try me on 10 mg. selegiline in combination with my 250 mg. modafinil. The first two weeks were not very promising, but now, in my third week, I'm finding the effect to be like having a steady dose of ritalin in my system at all times. No agitation or anxiety, and I feel clearer and more even than I have for a long time. The modafinil seems to keep me awake and somewhat energized, and the selegiline keeps me calm and focused. I'm very encouraged, though it's still early days, and god knows treatments have looked good, then failed before.
I'm afraid this has turned into a rather long-winded first post. But I'd love to know if anyone else out there has tried modafinil and low-dose selegilene in combination. Or has any thoughts about how this might be fine-tuned or adapted. I feel pretty functional on the combo, but my mood is still not where I'd like it to be. Not feeling suicidal or hopelessly muddled is great, but it would be truly wonderful to experience joy.
Jemma
poster:jemma
thread:209097
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20030314/msgs/209097.html