Posted by Tony P on February 20, 2003, at 0:24:15
In reply to sexual compulsives, posted by seemsnormal on February 18, 2003, at 9:30:56
You're not alone, seemsnormal.
I went through a treatment centre last year that combines treatment for depression with alcohol/drug addiction and any other compulsive behaviour. One of the things I learned, absolutely borne out by my own experience, is that I have one disease (plus depression), call it Addiction Disorder or whatever you're comfortable with, that manifests itself in a variety of behaviours, including sex addiction. Whenever I stop using one drug or compulsive behaviour, then another one is ready to fill the gap at once. While at the centre and separated from my other addictions, I developed an eating disorder!
I am a member of AA and NA, and the more meetings I go to, the less I feel any of my compulsions or craving. Is SCA a twelve-step group? Go for it. I have also found NA particularly helpful, as it talks only about "our addiction", regardless of what the addiction(s) are, although not every one may find NA a comfortable home.
I have reached the point where I have shared the generality of my sex addiction and some specifics with my sponsor, my counsellor, and a few peers. It helps! Secrets can kill us. Bravo to you for posting about it!
> I have been seeing a therapist and taking anti-D's for about five years now, but I'm trying to address another problem. I think I am a sexual addict, or sexual compulsive.
> I believe I may have irreperably screwed up a relationship that was just in the rebuilding stages, thanks to my behavior. I had made plans over this Valentine's Day weekend to cheat on my boyfriend.
> I dont want absolution in a diagnosis, I just want to know if other people out there are dealing with this. I feel despicable and low, selfish, mean and dirty right now. I am hitting a SCA meeting tonight, so I'll see how that goes. I quit drinking and drugs more than 10 years ago, but never had had the rock-bottom feeling I have now. The difference is I have hurt somebody I love so much. I've done this sort of thing before, and I think I may have blown my last chance. It would be too much to expect him to trust me again, but I have got to make some change. I want to be rid of this.
> Anybody here have any experience with 12-step groups for this kind of thing?
> My shrink doesnt really know the extent of this behavior. I have kept it even from him, because I am so ashamed of it. Talk to me, somebody.