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Re: BEE Happy PLease read !! thanks Laura

Posted by polarbear206 on February 3, 2003, at 7:28:46

In reply to BEE Happy PLease read !! thanks , posted by LAURA777 on February 2, 2003, at 12:07:28

> hi , thanks for the info , it seems that i see that another person on this board started to expierience symptoms at age 12 years , that is when mine started !!! and the older i get the worse it seems to be !!! i do NOT have anxiety, i have NEVER been manic .. just the oppisite .. everything in my life is a push to do .. also i want to add that on the deppression questionaire when they ask " have you lost interest in things that used to be enjoyable ?" i am stuck because nothing is or was , unless you go back before i was 12 years .. grey grey grey it is now . and sleep is my only escape and thank God i do not suffer insomnia !!! just the oppisited i am hypersomnia .. now my question is , 11 years ago i abused heroin .. will they not proscribe me
> buprenorphine because of this ??
> i have a wonderful therapist and have made great strides in my issues ... shame self esteem and such .. i like who i am today truly .. but i must tell you that it is so hard to function when nothing gives you pleasure , i wonder how people do this life thing .. to me it is sooo boring .. i read books but it looses flavor very quickly .. i hate alcohol because it dulls my thinking and makes me more dull altogether , yuk yuk yuk , when i take any narcotic , i am awake , more clearheaded and i have energy !! interest and motivation .. i hate stimulants too because they make me anxious and more awake with my BOREDOM .. it is just awful ,, here is a list of drugs that i have tried so far and none have worked
> zoloft with adavan ( i do not like valum because i just get stupid and sleepy and more flat )
> prozac alone 40 mg
> prozac with welbutrin
> effexor
> all these in varying dosages ..
> ANHEDONIA is my biggest complaint . i just sit here not wanting to do anything because nothing gives me reward , but yet i do not want to just sit here it is soo maddening i have trouble even deciding what to eat and make for dinner and i have to push to do all tasks , some days i do nothing and sleep but this is sooo miserable .. i have had this for so long i thought everyone was like this until i looked around , people had hobbies , interests .. where the hell were mine ?? this effects my life soooo much , and it effects my kids life too because i do not want to do anything .. and i tell you , will i have to go through the thousands of meds before they even consider treatment with buprenorphine ??? because i have investigate the chemical compositions of these drugs and they do not target the areas of the brain that i need help in .. yes stimulants target dopamine but in the wrong areas and they just make me anxious and more depressed , i have always steered clear of them illeagal ones as well as legal .. for instance in my teen years i tried cocaine and it made me soo sooo depresssed really bad that i never touched it again .. i mean here i was awake from the stimulant properrty of it and feeling as black as black can be .. i also investigated the effects on cocaine on the brain and then opiates and they act on different areas as well as a couple of the same ... i am no pharmocologist but i have been reading tons ..
> and what i have read so far on the meds that are available none come near the chemicals that i may need or they are partial .. so my recovery will


always be incomplete .. with the adhedonia not being touched ..
> I do not want to end up like my mother , she does nothing all day but sleep and watch tv , she takes xanex for anxiety , i do not suffer from anxiety though ... i do NOT have a fear of people either or of places , it just there is no interest ,, How do i describe this , it is just awful , are we so rare that no one has looked into this ????
> My husband has a script of vicodin and i ask him for 2 of them .. they are 5/500 ,, he gets mad at me and says i have a problem .. i am no drug addict believe me .. but when one can feel patially normal God if feels good .. the vicodin though is not long acting and fades within hours and i am back where i started .. not to mention what the acetaphetamine is doing to my liver !!!
> hey bee , can you please provide me with the links you were speaking of so that i can show them to my primary care doctor ???? i have tried to find them but only found one , that one being the harvard study ... sorry this is so long winded but i have finally found someone who understands .. and would love to talk more with you about it .. do people normally feel up on vicodin or is it just people like us that do ?? is this an indication of what we suffer from ??
> i need all the back up that i can possiblly have.. I pray that my primary care doctor will understand . and at least try it for a few days , i do not care if i have to submit to urine test everyday !!! i will . please write back bee .. i thank you soooo much .. laura
>

Laura,


You could have an underlying bipolar disorder. There is a broad spectrum to mood disorders. Mine is depression dominated. I get apathetic and tend to oversleep. High doses of antidepressants used alone would exacerbate my symptoms. I finally got relief after a mood stabilizer was added. I would explore adding a mood stabilizer. This in addition with a low dose of an antidepressant might be the missing piece to the puzzle. You don't have to be
manic or hypomanic to be diagnosed with a mood disorder. Some bipolars alternate with depression and periods of normalcy. Good Luck.

Laura.


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poster:polarbear206 thread:138897
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20030130/msgs/139072.html