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Re: opiates and major depression

Posted by Blah on January 21, 2003, at 10:12:54

In reply to Re: opiates and major depression, posted by androog on October 28, 2001, at 14:35:18

I'm in a similar possition to Androogs. I am 28 and have had depression/dysthymia my entire life (probably have a mix of personality disorder traits too). I started deep psycoanalasys 3 times a week when I was 5. Since high school I have tried: a triciclycate, prozac, serzone, paxil, wellbutrin, rameron, trazidone, zoloft, nardil (an MAOI), effexor, adderal, ritalin, and maybe others as well; I can't remember them all. All of these drugs not only didn't help but made things worse, and I had full trials on most of them (the side effects were just too much, most I stuck it out for 3 months to a year just to find myself deteriorating). Most times a drug doesn't work the frustrated pdocs will blame me for the failier. Once a pdoc said the drug wasn't working because I wasn't execising regularly, I explplained that because of my depression I didn't have the energy to cook meals everyday let alone exercise. Her responce was, "You have to make the energy," truely science at work.
My parents were very emotionaly abusive in weird and a typical ways. I have always had terrible problems concentrating, but have only been critisized for it, even by pdocs and some therapists. I made it through college with few friends, and no one would hire me. I now live on SSI, and my symtems are becoming worse. I haven't had a relationship in over a decade, and even masterbation means nothing to me anymore, just fills me with more hopelessness. I just fired another useless pdoc (a second year resident) who couldn't undersatand that after 23 years of useless treatment I wanted some control. Like most she cared more about her ego than me: "but I'm the Dr. I'm the one with the Phd!" At this point I feel an opioid analgisic is the only thing that will work for me. I'm always dissociating cause everything, EVERYTHING, is so painfull, I also have terrible hypervigulance. To this day I still can't ride a bicycle. I got my father to pay for a mood dissorder specialist. They said on the phone they do rx opiates. I have never done heroin or other hard drugs, I don't drink or smoke, only smoke marijauana occassionaly, and didn't do anything till I was 24; so I have no addiction history unless you want to infantalize me by claiming that using any drug at anytime is addiction, which many pdocs often do. I'll write back later to tell you all how it went.

If you write back:
-no mention of ECT. It is a temporary and barbaric practice with perminant damage, and I would sooner commit suicide. Many pdocs and therapist have said it wouldn't work for me anyway.

-no mention of other SSRIs I haven't tryed like Celexa. It is obvious this class of drugs is harmful for me, and I see no reason to enter into it again.

Sorry if this sounds rude but I am tired of the same useless advice being doled out by the robots of psychiatry.

-Blah


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poster:Blah thread:81414
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20030119/msgs/136869.html