Posted by MarkCSF on October 24, 2002, at 23:02:52
In reply to SSRI-Apathy or evolving depression?Opinions sought, posted by cab on October 24, 2002, at 16:04:03
Yeah, those type of thoughts seem to have always accompanied my depression, but I have noticed that it's gotten worse over the years since I had my first major episode. I did take Paxil also for a little while and feel like it did pronounce those feelings. I had my first major depression right before graduate school and was really scared about starting my program because I my interest and dreams in this particular field had totally vanished. It was the scariest thing, and I am still struggling with it greatly. But I went ahead with it, with the aid(?) of Paxil which calmed me enough but my interest was just not there, and I also found myself asking the "Whats the point of learning this or doing this? It doesnt matter, Im just going to die one day" type thoughts. Not sure if the Paxil was the culprit, I dont think so. It wouldve been the same either way. But I did feel like the Paxil put me in this weird "limbo" like state where I was still very apathetic but more of a numbed apathy, like if my apathy had gotten a dose of nitrous at the dentist. I didnt like it. Ill take the "straight, hard" apathy over that, it feels more real..hope this helps, later.
poster:MarkCSF
thread:125037
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20021019/msgs/125117.html