Posted by denise528 on August 1, 2002, at 9:28:34
In reply to Re: Nardil and agitation, posted by cybercafe on August 1, 2002, at 8:24:09
Hi,
Thanks for asking but you'll probably regret it.
I'm really not sure what kind of depression I have, my psychiatrist seems to think I have some sort of bipolar but I don't agree with him, I think that the ADs have just been making me seem that way. When I am off ADs completely I am very tired mentally, morose, moody, withdrawn (don't want to talk to anyone at all), unmoved by anything (except when I see ads for new drugs in development), very apathetic, loss of appetite, smoking incessantly, agitation, lack of concentration, extremely negative and sometimes I feel retarted, like I can't think straight and I get lost easily. I don't suffer from phobias and I don't get anxious about anything situational, infact my life is pretty much perfect, that's the irony I should be enjoying myself.
I often feel suicidal but haven't got the nerve to do it, I just fantasise about joining the army and putting myself in perilous situations. When I think about jumping into the sea, I can't do it because of the water being too cold, I couldn't take an overdose becuase I think what if I don't die and just end up even more depressed only with liver failure as well. Also I love my mum, wouldn't want to hurt her and don't want to go to hell, although sometimes I think that's where I am now. I wonder sometimes if all of the people on this board are in hell, we just don't know it, maybe we all did something terrible in a previous life.
SSRIs and tryciclics used to work really well for me at one time now they just make me agitated. Anyway here is the list of things I have tried over the last year:-
Seroxat (Paxil) - one month - Constant state of Anxiety
Remeron - Anxious
Prothiaden (Dothiapin) - Constant state of anxiety
Prothiaden and Prozac - Anxious and sick, edventually seizure when we upped the dose.
Prozac and Lithium - Flat and sick, sometimes anxious
Effexor (3 or 4 months) Not anxious, more focused but very empty, tired and sometimes melancholic.
Effexor & Lamical (same as Effexor alone)
Sertraline(off and on) Anxious loss of appetiteZyprexa when needed - Only thing that has helped but makes me feel too detached and unlike myself. Too machine like.
I have been messing around with the medications and my psychiatrist istn't happy with me for doing this(can't say I blame him) but they all seem to make me worse in different ways so out of desperation I try my own little experiments. Years ago when they used to work I followed the instructions. If the side effects were just physical I could handle it but I can't handle the mental torture, I'd rather pass out.
That's why I'm looking into Nardil, I know I have to give it a while, which is why I'm asking about agitation, because if they make me agitated then I will just end up coming off them within days.Denise
poster:denise528
thread:114761
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20020731/msgs/114777.html