Posted by katekite on May 16, 2002, at 11:41:43
In reply to Re: I do, for the moment-to Kate, posted by jaby on May 14, 2002, at 14:02:37
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> So what kinds of things got you the ADD dx? I question whether I might have some of the same characteristics and if maybe my depression is dopaminergic more than anything.
>
I found the quiz at mindfixers.com to be helpful. Mostly what got me the ADD diagnosis was inability to organize my life. Up until I quit my job around a year ago I was fairly organized, not that much worse than others. At most times I went to shrinks I was depressed and they would ask if I was forgetful and disorganized and the answer was of course and that only made them think I was more depressed.I hated structure and always liked weekends better etc, but a complete absence of structure was worse. After I quit the job and after I came out of a depression, I realized that here I was a full grown human with plenty of spare time, not even depressed, and keeping my laundry clean and my refrigerator stocked seemed kind of overwhelming....every day was frustrating just to get it done, get up, eat, do a few things, etc. ie the tasks of everyday living were somehow more difficult for me than for others. That's when I started randomly typing words like 'lazy' into search engines.
I looked into ADD and most importantly, had someone other than myself rate me on the quiz (for example I would never admit to how much I interrupt -- or I more likely don't know). When I did the quiz versus my husband we had rather different answers for me.
So that's kind of how the diagnosis came about. Really I was the one who brought it up to the attention of shrinks and docs.... one of the things about ADD is people are almost always more 'together' in the office than at home, because of the artificial structure and the idea that someone is watching you, one tends to be more controlled (true of everyone probably). So its often not evident at all to a health care provider -- I can't blame them for not noticing.
> Also, why do you say that you are using the ritalin just for now? Are there things you don't like about it?
Yes: my blood pressure goes all wacky with a dose of ritalin that would normally be given to a child under the age of 5. So I may have some medical issue there and I'm scheduled for a few tests. I can't take as much ritalin as would probably be good for my ADD symptoms. Other than that I really like ritalin. I have also tried dexedrine spansules, and that lasted a bit too long for my liking but was ok, and I will want to try adderall when I can. I want to try them all and pick the best one.
One last comment is that I have had anxiety issues since the age of 12 or so, and ritalin makes them go away. Plus I used to pull my hair out (since age 12) in a mild way, an impulsive behavior that is completely gone now.
Anxiety responding to stimulants is fairly uncommon, but not unheard of. In my case it turns out that anxiety is more a mental restlessness, so that I think a million things about every choice, worry over options, sometimes don't finish sentences because I'm off thinking of some other ending. Plus my eye contact is terrible. So social situations have always been hard because although I hear it all, maybe I'm not looking at people, or I am looking but worrying at the same time, etc....can't totally concentrate on listening. This leads to a certain look of anxiousness when really its more like I'm jumping up and down inside my head. With ritalin I'm able to control where I want to focus. I can even say to myself: ok now is not the time to worry about that, and it will work. ie a lot more control over my thinking.
What I find ironic is that so many new wonderful medicines have been invented in the last 15 years and that only hurt me..... if it had been 15 years ago I would have tried the tricyclics and then a stimulant in short order.
Basically it comes down to the idea that I'm a dopamine responder and not a serotonin responder.
kate
poster:katekite
thread:106237
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20020510/msgs/106656.html