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Desperately Need Help...(long)

Posted by marnie on May 6, 2002, at 14:29:21

I need advice and I don't know where else to turn. After reading some of the messages posted on this site, I feel confident that someone here can help me. This sounds like a group of very open-minded people. I'm sorry this is so long, but I thought a little of my history would help.

I'm 35 years old with 2 children (18mos & 7yrs) I've been suffering with fatigue since age 13 and it's getting worse with age. Doctors just shrugged it off without concern basically saying the same thing; Eat right, exercise and get plenty of sleep. I began slipping deeper and deeper into depression until I was at a point where I wanted to just go to sleep and never wake up. I was introduced to meth and couldn't believe how good I felt. My eyes stopped burning, the fog in my head went away, I was alert and finally felt like life was worth living. I looked and felt better than I had ever imagined. I stayed on that for about 10 years self-medicating myself. Although it was expensive and illegal I used it daily but only enough to get me through each day. No one knew I was using it, not even my husband. When I got pregnant, I stopped using it. I gained 100lbs and slept constantly. I started using it again right after I had my baby; I lost the weight and felt normal again. A few years later I divorced and moved to another state. I knew I wouldn't be able to get the drug where I was moving to, so I brought some with me.
I eventually remarried and became pregnant again. I was out of the stuff I brought with me and once again I gained a lot of weight (70lbs this time) After I had my baby, I suffered from postpartum depression and was put on Zoloft. It didn't help. I knew I had Hypothyroid and tests confirmed it so I was put on Synthroid. That didn't help. I switched to Armour Thyroid and changed from Zoloft to Celexa. The doctor thought my depression was causing the fatigue and said I would just have to learn to live with it.
All I wanted to do was sleep. My whole body was weak and it took all my strength to get up. My eyes burned and there was that constant fog back in my head again. I cried doing everyday tasks like cooking, cleaning and showering. I couldn't even play with my kids. I felt so guilty.

Finally I found a doctor who was willing to take a chance and put me on Dexedrine Spans. 30mg per day. It helped a little, but not much. He agreed to add Desoxyn along with the Dexedrine and that helped me tremendously, but now after 6 months, I find myself getting tired again and my doctor doesn't want to increase the dose and personally I don't want to either. I'd like to change meds (besides, the Desoxyn is too hard to get) I don't know what else would help. I don't have ADD/ADHD or Narcolepsy but I think my doctor would be willing to experiment. (I hope anyway)
I would really appreciate your expertise and advise. I'm so desperate. I don't want to live life half asleep. I haven't found a doctor yet that can diagnose my problem so I don't think I'll ever know what's wrong with me, but if I can find the right medicine, I might have a chance of living a normal life.

Thank you for taking the time to read this and for any help you can give me.


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Psycho-Babble Medication | Framed

poster:marnie thread:105293
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20020503/msgs/105293.html