Posted by fachad on March 20, 2002, at 20:05:25
In reply to Oh, HELP! Is this cycling within cycling or what?, posted by Janelle on March 20, 2002, at 18:41:41
Janelle,
I'm sorry to hear that you're having a difficult time. In no way to do I wish to discount or trivialize your suffering. What I would like to do is to suggest a less pathological, less frightening explanation.
It's a given that you, like many of us here are going through depression. But you said you have been "able to do very simple things, but managing to stay out of bed all day and keep occupied."
That's actually a good thing, to remain functional, even if at a reduced level in the face of crushing negative feelings. You should feel a little bit of self-congratulation that you are feeling crappy, but "doing it anyway", getting on with your life.
But suppose that the effort that you are putting forth to do this is putting a strain on your body. So today, your body just steered you back to bed to give you some time to heal and regroup.
Rather than focus on possible psychopathology and worry that something else is wrong, just enjoy the rest and be glad that your body has the wisdom to do this.
Your body has built-in safeguards against self-harm. Think about a child who tries to hold his breath forever. Either he gives up and starts breathing again, or he passes out and his body takes over and starts breathing again. You can't kill yourself from holding your breath, because at some point your body takes over, and does what it needs to survive.
Well, maybe all that happened today is that your body need rest and took over. One of Freud's most famous quotes was "Sometimes a Cigar is just a Cigar", by which he meant that psychoanalysis is great, but don't read too much into things.
I think a huge part of the strength of depression is that it feeds on itself. It tends to make you interpret things negatively, which causes more negative things to happen, on and on.
Conversely, a huge part of recovery from depression is forming the habit of interpreting things in a positive, or at least a neutral way. Like interpreting crawling back into bed as the body's natural need for rest, rather than a manifestation of further psychopathology.
And just so you don't feel so alone in this, I'll admit that after breakfast, and after my wife left for work this morning, I really didn’t feel like facing the day, so I went back to bed!
I did get up later and do some work, but I think that few extra hours in bed helped out quite a bit.
> I don't understand what's going on with me. I'll try to lay it out as best I can ... overall, I'm in a down cycle, feeling depressed and anxious, able to do very simple things, but managing to stay out of bed all day and keep occupied.
>
> Then I get a day like today (and this is NOT the first time this has happened) where I woke up with a horrible feeling of anxiety, dragged myself out of bed for breakfast only to return to bed for the rest of the day till now (about 5:30 pm).
>
> Is this cycling within a cycle?
poster:fachad
thread:99086
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20020318/msgs/99103.html