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Janelle from BCat » Janelle

Posted by BarbaraCat on March 18, 2002, at 20:13:28

In reply to BARBARACAT: more! » BarbaraCat, posted by Janelle on March 18, 2002, at 18:30:44

Janelle,
Nope, my husband isn't working either. He got laid off and is getting some retraining, but to tell the truth, that whole situation really gets me angry. Sometimes I feel I'm supporting both of us (I do the taxes, the bills, etc.) while I'm barely surviving emotionally. I think the fibromyalgia is an outcome of the intense stress I've dealt with for so much of my life. My system just broke down. So there are some real life stressors going on that no pill is going to magically take away. All I'm really hoping for is to prevent myself from going down into those deep dark scary places where I cry all day and have panic attacks and everything is totally overwhelming.

I used to sit in my cubicle at work at sob because my brain just wouldn't work anymore - over the smallest things. It was taking forever to do simple things. I got a real bad performance review at which point I told my manager that I was having a medical/emotional crises. Prior to this I had been able to 'fake it', but could no longer fool anybody. I went on short term disability for 12 weeks and then when that was over, they 'laid me off due to lack of work'. Yeah. Convenient.

Right now, today, I'm in a black mood. Nothing interests me, everything seems hard and futile. I'm at a loss for what to make for dinner and that's probably good cause I'm porking out because of these stupid meds. I'm weary and bored and very dissappointed because I thought the remeron/lithium combo was working. Maybe tomorrow I'll feel better. What I'm really hoping for is to get to a point where I have the motivation and energy to start working out again. I'm hoping for a medication cocktail that will jump start me.

Janelle, what do you do during the day while you're not working? Don't you find it hard to stay structured and motivated? Are you having any effects so far from your medications (what are you on besides the Lamactil, BTW?). Gee, this is long, but thanks for being my 'pen pal'. - Barbara


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Psycho-Babble Medication | Framed

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URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20020318/msgs/98660.html