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HELP i am so obsessive!!!!

Posted by obsessivechris on March 15, 2002, at 18:42:54

Hi, i have ocd and i need some advice from you.
I am currently taking zyprexa (5 mg) and have been for close to 4 years. I want to get off of it because i have gained 100 pounds while on the drug, i weighed 140 when i started it, now i weigh 240 and i gained the weight really fast too, like 30 pounds a month. I tried exercising, walking 3 miles a day and i can't lose any weight, only gain. My docs have tried to get me off it a few times, which left the ssri's that i was taking at the time as my only med (luvox,celexa and prozac). And each time after a week of being off the zyprexa, my ocd got real bad. Let me explain to you as to what i mean by real bad:
I am the pure obsessive type, i don't have rituals for relief(i wish i did, i used to and it was not even close to this bad, i wouldget relief from the rituals, when i am not on the zyprexa, i got no relief, its just pure torture).I have obsessions with body parts, like having a heart attack, swallowing my tongue, going blind, deaf, ect. And while off the zyprexa, thats all i would think about during my waking hours and eventually it would get so bad to where i couldn't sleep and i had to start the zyprexa again. I would get psycho somatic pains in the areas i was obsessing on- the chest, throat,eyes, some in the head too. Then i would obsess on the imaginary pain that wasn't there and that made the anxiety even worse, unbearable would be the better word. I could barely talk on the phone and could not use the computer, let alone get out of the house, as i was so anxious. I don't even know if the term anxious would do justice in terms of describing what i was going through. do justice in terms of describing what i was going through. plse help me i am so desperate.. i feel all alone and depressed.

i feel like ending my life.... i am so sry to say so much.. plse help here or by email thank you so mych in advance... metsjetsknicks2001@yahoo.com


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