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Re: Nothing is working!

Posted by pedr on March 12, 2002, at 8:23:45

In reply to Nothing is working!, posted by LiLi80 on March 9, 2002, at 2:42:58

> I am still waiting for my depression to stop or die down or anything. But nothing. I have taken med after med. I have seen a therapist and a pdoc, and a regular doc. I am starting DBT soon. But i am still suicidal. If nothing is working, then I knw I will kill myself. Yup got the plan too.
>
> I am sick of this. I just want it to stop. I am sick of being told that I am torturing myself with this depression "story". How can a suicidal person be torturing themselves? Unless that person has some dream or fantasy of the wonderful afterlife that they think they will be getting to faster. I dont have such dillusiones. I just want it to stop.
>
> I want to stop feeling like this. I know how to get past the pdocs and stuff, i've learned how to be mentally ill and still keep my sanity. I've heard: the hang in there and find God crap. I'm sick of this, I just want it to stop.
>
> I have suicidal ideations all the time. I told my therapist and pdoc this. They know my thoughts are constant, but they cant just lock me up forever. I have never been locked up ..oh excuse me "helped". I will never be locked up. What is the point of it? I am very convinced that a person can not get better in a vacuum.
>
> One cannot take the world away forever, I will just have to learn how to live in the world after the pdocs make themselves feel all smart and release me. Oh am i anger? you say. Hell yeah. EVer heard of depression? Anger is a main ingredient. My story has been posted before. I am not torturing myself , if I just want it to stop.

Shit lili, you're in a bad way, no doubt about that. I have just a couple of suggestions.

Are you sure you've tried all meds - what about MAOIs and drugs not normally indicated for unipolar depression e.g. lamictal, adrafinil, amisulpride. Yes, it's bloody horrible starting/stopping meds but they *can* make the crucual difference. Failing that, there is always ECT to try. Please forgive me if you've tried these things already.

Secondly, be aware that it is possible to recover from the situation you're in. I've come out of a similar depression, as have several others on this board. It is possible.

My thoughts are with you,
pete.


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poster:pedr thread:97164
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20020307/msgs/97580.html