Posted by IsoM on February 19, 2002, at 23:46:15
In reply to Totally Down Again, posted by Mr. Scott on February 19, 2002, at 19:38:44
Of course, it's "all in your head" like the people in your life think - ask then where else a person's brain is supposed to be??? And yes, things DO need to get worked out. Heck, even normally healthy, balanced individuals are always working out life's issues. That's what life is about - it's a dynamic process, always changing. Only if you're comatose or dead is there no issues.
Every time I think I have a problem licked, another pops up its head. Maybe its head was already sticking out & I was too busy dealing with something else to notice it. But you know, when these things pop up, I do lick them, ready for another. I'm sure (from reading your posts previously), Scott, you've had lots of problems you've licked before. Maybe you're saying "yeah, I licked those but I can't lick depression". But it's not a one-time only beast. For almost all of us that suffer from depression, we beat it back only to see it rise again. Our collective success stories show, though, that we can deal with it when it comes.
I know I sound bright & perky now and to think "easy for her to say - she's feeling good now" but I honestly believe that even when I do feel miserable. I whine & complain to myself (hate to do it much to others) sometimes wishing I just didn't exist but there's always something lurking in the back letting me know it does improve. When I feel good, I think it'll never go bad again, but again there's something lurking there saying it'll be back. So life goes on. I feel like a yo-yo sometimes, but the joy of life when I feel good makes me treasure life, ready to tackle depression when it sneaks back in. I've been like this for +15 years now. Each time, I think I've licked it for good. Who knows? One day it may be true.
I love Mark H's advice. I do apply something similar to myself. I refuse to block myself off from the suffering of others in this world. Watching news & documentaries, I think of really how well off we are now, physically, financially, emotionally, etc from war-torn victims, torture victims, famine victims... - you get my point. Watching the news tonight, I was amused how people were whining that the PST is going up from 7% to 7.5%. Really! Like they'd ever notice the difference. How many people stop & buy coffee or pop through a month, or movies, or cable, or new clothes with no thought to how much they've spent while someone elsewhere has died from disease or starvation. When I get thinking like this, my situation sounds pretty damn good.
Scott, I'm a real nature nut. I'd live outside permanently if I could (with shelter for books & music & a soft bed :-)). I spend a fair amount of time just observing nature. It gives me deep joy & satisfaction. At the campus a couple of years ago, there were two crows. They mate for life. He was reaffirming his 'vows' to his mate that spring - bending his neck forward & make gobbling noises to her. Then he hop a little closer & she'd act coy. It was so sweet. That fall, I saw he'd lost the tip of his upper bill. He was having great difficulty trying to pick up food. I e-mailed someone on the net who's a crow expert (I've e-mailed crow observations to him before) & he said that he has a very good chance of surviving. Other crows beside his mate will probably help in bringing him food. It really gladdened my heart. If birds can be so loving & supportive of one another, surely we can too.
Scott, spend time just sitting watching small things around you. Observe the little birds around you & their interactions. Stop & look up at the sky & really look. WAtch the clouds change & move. Look at life with a new perspective like a child would. I'm sure you'd find much to make you feel good. Not a boisterous, noisy happiness but a quiet, deep one.
I know I probably sound corny as all get out, maybe nauseatingly so to some but this is me. Maybe the reason I do rebound after bad spells & keep hoping is I really feel I'm still the little girl I used to be. Find the little boy in yourself - what made you happy when you were small.
poster:IsoM
thread:94706
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20020215/msgs/94742.html