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Career and Interests » IsoM

Posted by IsoM on February 4, 2002, at 18:43:16

In reply to Not That Out of Practice » Elizabeth, posted by IsoM on February 4, 2002, at 17:00:19

Elizabeth, both you & sid write in a lucid wmanner & I enjoy reading your posts simply to learn more. Seeing that these posts are public on the forum, I didn't feel like I was sneaking about when I read your's & sid's postings regarding depression (& earlier CBT). Reading them over, I see that you're a mathematician by training. I apologise whether you could do the calculations - a breeze for you, I'd imagine.

Like you & sid, I love math, and if I could do nothing but math, I'd be happy & good at it. Trouble is, I have to set my mind in gear for math, I can't just switch focus & work on a different subject, & vice versa. To do math well, I need to work at it for hours. Friends couldn't understand how I'd find hours of math homework enjoyable, but I did.

An example of how I do math is --
One time in my calculus class as the prof was explaining & writing out some new thoughts on the board, filling up one board after another, I put up my hand & said "then it follows that...etc" & I went on to ask if it would tie in with some of the other things just learned & what the graph would be like. He was so pleased & happy to see someone grasp it so quickly & see the applications (he thought he had a star student, poor guy). Then he erased everything from the board, wrote up some problems & told us to try them with what we just learned. I couldn't even begin.

After grasping the concept so beautifully (I see math as very beautiful), I couldn't even remember what the first step was! I hate the way my brain operates. I need to have the steps written down in front of me to guide me. Then I have to do it over & over & over to wear a pathway in my memory, else the next day, my mind is as empty as before. I explainmy mind as a huge hard-drive, but very little working RAM, & the 'search' feature doesn't work most times. I'm so, so hoping adrafinil will help my memory. Long-term memory is excellent, comprehension is excellent, but short-term & midshort-term (working memory) is absolutely crappy, which means not much happens. :-(

I respect your views. So if you've got any idea on how to improve shor-term & working memory - meds wise too, let me know. I tried all the study guides offered at university. It helps somewhat.

P.S. about driving & getting a licence. I lived on the prairies for 14 years & one could drive for an hour & only pass the occasional car. When I moved back to the Vancouver area, I figured I'd never be able to drive. The traffic was incredible. There was just too much to pay attention to & still react in time. I finally screwed up my courage & bid my sons good-bye. I told the older ones in all seriousness, I hoped I wouldn't get in an accident. Driving's a snap now. I never really relax when I drive - I always consider it a challenge - me against them so I'm always superalert. But it comes to you.

Start with small drives to someone's house close by, etc & work your way up. The nice thing about driving is that it becomes kinetic memory & you're not consciously aware of your movements - like riding a bike. You just need to watch your surroundings & all other things will be automatic.


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