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Re: new to effexor » Elizabeth

Posted by sid on December 15, 2001, at 12:03:46

In reply to Re: new to effexor » sid, posted by Elizabeth on December 15, 2001, at 11:34:42

Elizabeth,
I've been writing on this before, but this dose seems to be effective for me. I don't have major depression anymore, but I still have chronic depression. I suspect we'll get to a higher dose, but so far I enjoy life more, my concentration is a lot better (my dissertation is moving along!!! At last !), and my outlook on life is not so grey anymore. I noted these changes after about 6 days, once I stopped feeling stoned and having major insomnia. Since I never took any drug other than a few antibiotics, I might be particularly sensitive to them.

I've been reading many posts and no one else seems to have had the same experience. However, most people writing here are dealing with major depresion it seems. That may be why I feel alone... but it's a positive lonely experience, so that's not really a problem.

I started writing here b/c I was scared of meds. I saw my father "losing it" when he tried to stop his med (no clue which one it was) when I was still living at home and the image stayed with me. I immediately called his doc who told me he probably did not take his med and to try to force him to take it or call an ambulance immediately. So I wrestled him into bed and pleaded he take it. It was traumatizing. My mother and I were running in the house, hiding anything he could hurt himself or us with, which he had threatened to do. He had never done this before and never did it after either. So I always resisted taking meds until recently. I am still scared, but so far Effexor has been good for me.

In the past 7 years I used psychotherapy and acupuncture to get out of major depression, but chronic depression remained. Intense stress would throw me towards other major episodes and I'd have to work very hard to avoid it. I have made changes in my behavior (behavioral therapy), my thoughts (cognitive therapy), I worked really hard at it. At times it was almost a full time job to "take care" of myself. I did all I could on my own, and recently concluded that it was time for meds. I realized that I am fine, and there is nothing wrong with me that I need to change anymore. I was a workaholic, my research is still important to me, but it is not my life anymore. Otherwise, whatever things I might want to change, I could not, no matter how much I tried.

Perhaps 37.5mg is enough to have some effects for chronic depression? I have no idea, but I am better now than I've been in over a decade. And the things I'd like to change in my life seem doable while before it seemd impossible. Part of life seemed to be forbidden to me. I'd constantly say "oh, that's not for me." For the past couple of weeks, I've been thinking "why not?"

Anyway... I hope I can stay this well and perhaps even better (I've had chronic depression for so long that I don't know what it's like to be better) for a long time.


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poster:sid thread:86790
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20011213/msgs/86990.html