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Re: Sorry about the stupid question - adamie Andre Allard

Posted by adamie on September 2, 2001, at 12:31:22

In reply to Re: Sorry about the stupid question - adamie, posted by Andre Allard on September 2, 2001, at 2:26:52

> To say that accutane is the sole culprit in triggerinig your depression would make you a very rare case. It is understandable that the docs you have seen by are ignorant to your idea.
>
> I have been on accutane twice while I was a teenager and I do remember something written on the package insert about depression occurance in 0.02% or something in that range.
>
> Not that your depression is not 100% caused by accutane but you have to keep in mind how many other factors play a role in the onset of depression. For example, onset of depression is usually late teens or early twenties (early adulthood) and sometimes depression can happen for no reason whatsoever (I am assuming that you are rather young considering your use of accutane). Does mental illnes run in your family? Do you have successful relationships at the moment? Are you doing well in school or at work? Are you happy with the way you look? Are you financially secure? All these stress factors significantly impact my life and they are areas that you must take into consideration when coming to your conclusions.
>
> Like I said, I am not saying that your depression is not caused by accutane. I am just trying to get you to rule out other areas before coming to such a conclusion.
>
> Good luck!

hi. I am confident in how I look. I have a perfect fiance, more perfect than I could ever imagine. My future has always been all set. No problems. Life has always been completely perfect. Then 4 weeks on the accutane I begin to feel a little strange. 5 weeks into it I realize it is having the so called rare side effect of depression.

4 weeks into it I would occasionally have very mild bad feelings. At first I thought it was just because what I was reading. Since I was reading about the evils of scientology. But nope. I would normally have never made to feel bad in the uncontrollable way that it did. I would always have full control over my emotions and was always perfectly happy. If I heard something bad I wouldn't mind because I would always be grateful for everything I had. I have never had any reason to not feel perfectly happy. Also my family has never had any cases of depression that I know of.

Other things that happened while on accutane..

I was starting to lose motivation. I wasn't excersizing anymore. Just too tiring it felt. Then I would accidentally call my sister by the name of my fiance. This may not seem like a big deal and it certainly didn't appear at the time but I would always have enough concentration for such a thing never to happen. This happened repeatedly. While before this would happen never. Then I would become extra bored watching a bad movie and I would actually feel bad a little. It was strange. No matter how bad or boring a movie may be I am not supossed to be so bored. I would always have enough imagination. And I am certainly not supossed to feel bad due to boredom. It was all very subtle though. I didn't realize before it was too late that the accutane was causing something. Taking one 40mg dose of accutane is like taking 40 times the daily recommended dose of vitamin A. it is extremely unsafe. High amounts of vitamin A have been proven to cause mental disorders. Out of all the retinoids accutane is the only one which has caused suicide. Thousands of cases. Most unreported.

Before stopping the accutane it was becoming very evident something was becoming seriously wrong. All of a sudden I was having feelings of "gee what am I going to talk to dana about today?". This was a huge change from the usual complete excitement I would show towards talking with my perfect fiance over the internet. We would always talk several hours each day every day and I would never have such a concern ever. Talking with her was always natural and everything was always perfect. This day was becoming very different. It was becoming hard for me to talk about all the usual important things. And it was becoming harder for me to even imagine being with her. My very mild hard to notice depression due to accutane was becoming much more noticable! Something was seriously wrong. Could these be normal feelings I was having? Such thoughts I would have. Then I would realize it was without a doubt the accutane. How could I go from always being 100% perfectly euphoric to having the feelings I was having now? I would go shower and for some reason it was becoming hard to shower. More tired. I would have automatic uncontrollable negative thoughts. The next day after reading things on the internet of people who have had long lasting severe and even suicidal depression due to accutane had me convinced I had to get off this disgusting medication. I would later find out that from 17 adverse reactions depression was number 8. It was more common than one would think from this horrible drug. Also I know remember that I had school at that time. It was becoming occasionally extremely difficult to keep myself motivated towards my work. I always had enough motivation. My life was perfect, how could I not do my homework? But I was becoming unable to feel how perfect everything was. Uncontrollable depression. I stopped the medication after reading enough horror stories. The next day I did something silly. Since I had school I wanted to take my energy drink. Since I was off the accutane I felt it would be okay. Big mistake. It turned what I thought at the time was mostly a mild depression into something extremely severe. It added to the accutane effect since accutane is a man made vitamin A. at 40 times the daily recommended dose. My energy drink had 40% vitamin A. And this really made things much much worse. I was becoming unreactive to everything. Severe mind torture was setting in. Every minute was becoming hell. I was at school and I just wasn't up to doing anything except sitting in my desk trying to fight off the mind torture. My computer teacher would ask me to go to my work and I said I wasn't feeling good. This happened for all my classes. I couldn't believe how horrible I felt. I would also be shaking occasionally. And my vision was turning really dark yet white and very pale. I was feeling like I was a ghost. Already dead or something. I tried to think of the way I always felt before but it was impossible. I couldn't make myself feel better. I couldn't feel anything. I couldn't even remember anything about my perfect fiance. The very severe mind torture lasted for 2.5 days. That 3rd day I was driven to a walk in clinic where I was prescribed paxil. I didn't take it because for some reason I was feeling slightly better that evening. I thought surely the accutane effect will go away like it has for almost everyone. I waited for 1 month. It was improving from time to time. A few moments I was beginning to feel as if I was approaching normal again. but it would always go up and down. and then it was no longer improving. the severe mind torture was coming back. I had previously been on paxil for 2 days but I felt it was making me worse. So I stopped it. This time I went on and stayed on for 24 days. It seemed to make me a little better. But I would never have any up periods. Just very bleh all the time. except for when I was 1 week on it. Somehow I was beggining to feel significantly better. I had enough motivation to go to a theme park. I actually enjoyed things again to a certain extent. Then that went away. And back to feeling horrible again. this very bleh yet better than constant mind torture mood remained the whole time on the paxil. While there seemed to be less mind torture I felt as if I had no emotions. My fiance has always been the most important to me. So I decided to go off it to see how I would felt. 2 days off it I was feeling slightly better. 3 days off it even better. i had a minor ability to enjoy things. 4 days off it there was some kind of a miracle. I was starting to feel quite good! not normal but near somewhat. Because normal for me was naturally euphoric. I was naturally doing most of the old things I was before the depression. It was like I was living again. I was dling mp3's. Going to websites. Talking with my perfect fiance more. Able to see again how perfect she was. I was actually looking forward to things. This lasted for 7 days then it went suddenly significantly worse. Like right in the middle of talking with my fiance I uncontrollably suddenly was much worse. There was no reason for it. The next day slightly better. then slightly better again. then later it was going down. I was becoming desperate again and decided to try some other meds. Effexor I went on for 7 days. It brought back a lot of mind torture and actually made me suicidal. I went off it. a few days after I was feeling better. then I went on some other meds. And the story continues.

2.5 months after stopping the accutane I am doing significantly better overall. I am off meds and I am able to slightly enjoy things but still very little motivation for things. I will recover as has almost all even suicidally depressed accutane victims. it will just take several months or maybe a few years but I will be my normal self again. The accutane has been proven to stay in one's body for several months and even years, matching just how long it takes for the victims to recover from depression and other mental ilnesses caused by accutane. So I will get better. I just wish it was soon. I'll be trying Adrafinil very soon and am currently on 5-htp. I forgot about it. but i guess it's not really a med.

there is no doubt in my mind that accutane caused the depression. Aside from that it caused various other things. Yellow skin which by now has mostly gone away. Decreased night vision and just in general it seems everything is more pale and dark. My hair is changed. It went from being slightly curly and naturally going over the sides of my head to standing up always. even if I comb it, it remains up. Also my face just looks different. of course none of these matter to me. I just need the depression to go away. But with all these lasting side effects it makes me wonder just how much damage the accutane has caused. But the dperession has to go away. So I just need to wait it out. And regarding the depression occurance in .02% of all people taking accutane. That is extremely off. I would say maybe 4% or even 7% but in most cases it is quite mild so the number can be much higher since some people may not notice very mild depression or simply would think something is wrong with them rather than to put the blame where it belongs. the accutane. none of the retinoids have caused suicide except accutane which has had thousands. Dianette35 actually had had 2 attempted suicides. and all the other retinoids have had none. That is proof in itself that accutane is generally the most dangerous acne treatment avialable and no doubt can cause depression in many people.


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poster:adamie thread:77205
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