Posted by Else on August 2, 2001, at 23:59:43
In reply to Re: I'm so sick of living like this, posted by Jady on August 2, 2001, at 23:20:38
I don't know. If you're happy it doesn't matter if meds make you delusional. Hapiness is only a matter of perception and my perception really sucks. I just think I'm too tired to deal with all of this (and you too from what I can tell). There's this line by Matt Dillon in Drugstore Cowboy where he says he needs drugs to just be able to tie his shoe laces in the morning. Why tie your stupid shoe laces indeed, if life just plain sucks to you? I don't care what it takes anyway. I'm so LOW, low, low.... I hate this. I want to lock myself into my appartment and never leave.
> Else, I just started posting today. I wish I have a nickle for every time I felt just like you do right now. I just never seem to get a handle on things, and sometimes I feel like I go months with only hassles, fires to stamp out, bad news and any other number of negative things. I wake up and think if I just stay in bed at least it can't get worse. Today I'm not feeling that way. But my son left the house as soon as he saw I got a bill which indicated my last payment somehow wasn't received. Some days I can deal, but others this type of thing sends me off the deep end, drowning in self hatred. Some people are just always freaking happy! Usually I figure they're just too stupid to know how screwed up everything is. Or that I'm just a cursed, damaged loser. But then again, I'm afraid to be happy just because of meds. Doesn't that mean I'm just too medicated to see how screwed up everything is?
poster:Else
thread:73202
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20010731/msgs/73228.html