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Re: DID, MDs, DSM, EMDR, etc. » Elizabeth

Posted by shelliR on July 31, 2001, at 23:55:33

In reply to Re: DID, MDs, DSM, EMDR, etc. » shelliR, posted by Elizabeth on July 31, 2001, at 18:22:34

> > I don't know if this is a fact or not, but it seems from my observations that the abuse had to have been kept a secret; even in the case of siblings both being sexually abused by the same adult, it has generally never been discussed until they were adults with the people that I have come to know.
> Well, do you know anyone who was abused but did speak to someone about it?
No one who has DID. Other people though, but they don't have DID, so maybe that's why I got that idea.
> > Body therapy is the combination of therapy with on-hands massage type work.
> That sounds really cool! And I can see how it would be helpful to someone in your situation.

It is great. I just wish insurance would pay for it. I pay so much for insurance which covers my therapy and it's frustrating that they will only cover MDs, psychologists and social workers. The woman that I want to work with is a MA counselor and she is not covered, even though it would be cheaper for them.

> they talk to each other, or is it just several different internal monologues?
No, they talk to me, comment about things in general. Like, "you forgot to give us lunch" or "why is that lady so fat", stuff like that, unless I ask them deeper questions. And then I rarely get any answers. They don't want to talk about what happened anymore and I think that's okay, at least for the younger ones who have worked their abuse though. They can be very funny, and the youngest even makes the others laugh.
> > I suppose it’s odd, but it doesn’t seem odd to me.

> It's odd, trust me. :-)
:-). It's amazing how unstrange it is to me. It's funny to think about it. It's so unstrange to me that I never thought about mentioning it before (although I have mentioned it in posts a long time ago re dissociation) and so unstrange that I didn't think, "should I tell this bizarre thing." Maybe because when I go into the hospital for depression, I always go on the unit for trauma and dissociative disorders. I am generally the least dissociated person there. It's really only a part of who I am, of course.

My close friends all know and my family but we rarely talk about it--it's sort of like once someone gets it, and I answer their questions for a while about it, there's not much more to say. And other friends have no clue, but it really doesn't feel like I'm holding back. It just never comes up :-)

But again , I want to emphasize that they don't talk unless they're allowed. Like when I'm out they're allowed to talk in the bathroom. So I'll be out to dinner with someone, totally unaware of them, but when I go to the restroom, they come out immediately to assess that particular restroom. And they are also allowed to talk on elevators if no one else is in there, and at home. Sometimes I let them whisper other places like when I go to flower shops and they like to give me their opinions.

> > BTW, they get older on their own, they tell me when they have gained a half year or a year and they sound older.
> Does the aging occur at the same rate as real aging? Or do they age in a discontinuous fashion?
Totally discontinuous.
> Sleep studies can illuminate more than just sleepwalking. Anyway, I'd be curious if there were predictable changes in your brain wave patterns when you switch identities.

A past friend of mine (DID) had totally different eegs depending on which personality was out. The neurologists were clueless what was going on because this was before she was diagnosed. Last time I talked to her she was starting to get strange seizures and she couldn't drive for a while until she was put on an anticonvulsent. I don't know what they was all about, but I do know that horrible abuse changes your brain.
> > Have you noticed any effect of the medications you're taking on this phenomenon?
> >
> > No, I never even deal with it with medications—just the depression and the anxiety.
> So I gather. (I was wondering whether any of the antidepressant and anxiolytic medications you've tried had an incidental effect on the dissociation.)
no, just valium makes me more grounded when I'm very dissociated. But some doctors don't like to give valium so they give me klonopin instead which isn't that helpful, but does help some.
> > More on the topic of medication, the last three days have been pretty awful for me and I am wondering if the estrogen I’m taking is making my depression worse.
> Could be. I had major problems with the hormonal contraceptives that I tried (see one of the posts directed to Lorraine).
> > It’s either that, or the oxycontin is starting to be less effective. Bummer.
> FWIW, I've heard of a number of cases in which people took full opioid agonists (morphine, oxycodone, and -- get this -- oxymorphone) as antidepressants for periods of months or years and never became tolerant.

I hoped that would be the case. But I am definitely depressed, although still functioning.

I hope to talk to my pdoc about bup and/or parnate. In my eight minutes I may only get to one. I have the option of seeing him as often as I want, it's just a pain to go there if I'm not down there already for therapy. And he hates phone calls.
But the mantra remains, he gives me oxycontin. And many other pdocs think he's a genius.
Actually, tomorrow I'm going to call my gyn because I want to get her opinion about the estrogen possibly making me more depressed. She has a lot more experience with estrogen than my pdoc.

Take care,





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