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Zombie on Neuroleptics- I'm just not here

Posted by Paul W on May 24, 2001, at 12:55:53

Hello anybody whose taken the time to click this one open.

I've been suffering from chronic depression and the associated joy of anxiety for eight months now. This has not been my first war with these states.

In that time I've gone from Paxil to Lofepramine (TCA) to Effexor XR All mono therapies,all at least 6 week trials with pure hell resulting....
...and now fluanxol (flupenthixol?).
Now,after 4 weeks, my doc has raised me up to 3mg a day of this ancient drug. I'm be worried out of my skin taking this (with the associated risks of tardive dyskenesia-please do not laugh at my spelling and the ironic use of phrase!) if it wasn't for the fact that I've been removed from the planet by it. Or so it feels.

Ok, I can still function, but it takes much effort, but I am not as 'depressed' in a sense (the tears have subsided).

Trouble is I feel so blunted and removed from everything and can barely hold a conversation.

My brain feels the size of a pea, I do not retain simple information, i enjoy nothing, am losing contact with friends and am on the verge of quitting my job and possibly worse, if I cannot rid myself of this feeling and find myself again.

Does anybody have any thoughts to share with me? They would be much appreciated.

I have had excellent results with paxil (20/30mg) before but that failed this time round (merely exacerbating the anxiety and possibly depression)

In summary, I cannot believe what is happening to me and feel quite desperate.




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