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Re: Sal, where are you coming from?

Posted by gilbert on May 21, 2001, at 19:01:56

In reply to Re: Sal, where are you coming from? SalArmy4me, posted by dougb on May 21, 2001, at 10:12:06

It has been my experience as a recovering addict and as someone who suffers from panic disorder that my search for the perfect AD or benzo has been much like my search for the perfect high used to be. I am never really satisfied with the effects of being stoned and out of it but don't really want to cope with reality 24/7. The huge difference for me has been whether drinking or using street drugs did bring relief from panic and depression but not without phenomenom of craving kicking in where I wanted more all the time. Now maybe non addicts would use let's say heroin medicinally. I believe that there may be that small percentage of people out there who could. But for most the phenonenom of craving kicks in and you need more an more of the drug until finally you are willing to sell your mom for it. I have never had this craving on antidepressants or even benzos for that matter. I never want to pop an extra prozac or xanax and travel uptown to chase skirt. Now the other side of the coin is at best these meds seem to make life tolerable. The benzos make you overly laid back and life is somewhat dulled. The antidepressants make you a robot and steal your libido. So whether or not you ingest illegal or legal subtsances they all come with a price. Even though I have been sober for 15 years and have only ingested drugs that are prescribed and approved by the almighty sanctifying easily bought F.D.A. I have felt some side effects that I never had to feel on street drugs. I still feel I am better off being a guinea pig with legal substances where quantities and quality is somewhat controlled. But it seems to me from reading this board and from my own experience we are all scurrying from one drug to another in hopes of finding something that will give us that glimpse of happiness that may not actually exist. This may be as good as it gets.

Gil


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URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20010515/msgs/63858.html