Posted by coral on October 28, 2000, at 18:22:19
In reply to Re:Suggestion please? Coral, posted by JohnL on October 28, 2000, at 17:10:25
If you don't mind a long'ish post, I've heard the statistics about recurrences, and hope that I'm one of the ones who'll beat the odds. My first depressive episode started ten years ago, cause - a combo of psychological issues and an endocrine system that went completely bizarre - (don't know cause/effect - chicken and egg), but both things were there simultaneously and I took one helluva dive into the abyss. No gentle, sliding down the slope - just a flat-out dive straight to the depths of hell. Three and a half years with awful medical attention - then, a great endocrinologist and Zoloft, Librium and Ambien. (I've had a superior psychotherapist through both episodes - thank God - had it not been for him, I probably would've checked out). During the first episode, I also suffered out-of-control panic/anxiety attacks - I went to a support group and after two hours of listening to them discussing coping mechanisms for life, I vowed not to share my life with those blasted attacks. Frankly, they were compassionate and patronizing, assuring me I'd be back. Well, I haven't had a panic attack in six years and none accompanied my second depressive episode. The second depressive episode is ending now, lasting only a little over two months. (Again, therapy, Zoloft, Librium and Ambien with psychotherapy.)
I know some statistics aren't in my favor, but I think some are - I was 40 with the first depressive episode (so it was a "later" life onset), I've found a combo that works, and the second episode was so significantly shorter in duration, and six years completely depression free. With the second episode, it wasn't a full dive to the bottom of the abyss, I just got knocked into the pit and caught a branch before hitting bottom. The episode came on the heels of six months of a very difficult negotiations (business), highly intense, 24/7, and some extended family problems so I was truly exhausted. I'm hoping all these factors are in my favor.
Your advice re: the Zoloft is very helpful. Frankly, I feel fine the majority of the time on it, with few if any side effects. However, I can't write on it! Being a writer, that presents a huge problem. Obviously, I'm searching and your advice is very helpful. I don't/won't do anything to intentionally jeopardize my mental health, and I don't want to do anything inadvertently to jeopardize it. But, I need to write. Maybe by lowering to 25 mg of Zoloft, I can continue the recovery and still write. So, any additional thoughts, ideas, etc., would be greatly appreciated.
BTW, you don't need to worry about the disclaimer. I'm a responsible adult and if I choose to follow advice, it's my own choice. :)