Posted by coral on October 23, 2000, at 5:50:42
In reply to Re: How sane is my insanity? now what? please help., posted by pullmarine on October 22, 2000, at 22:12:53
Dear John,
Healthy interactions with your doc are crucial to your recovery. My recommendation would be to start your session by discussing your letter. You may find that your doc is delighted with your openness and it becomes a catalyst for improved discussions. I recently went through something very similar with my therapist and had the same fears - (in my case, I mildly attacked him verbally in our last session, expressing dissatisfaction with what was happening) that he'd no longer keep me as a patient. With a tremor in my throat, I started our session with that because if I couldn't get over that fear, it would've been a huge stumbling block. I deeply appreciate his honesty and integrity in his responses. He told me, first and foremost, that my expressing the dissatisfaction was one of the healthiest things I'd ever done in therapy. We examined what and why and it was very illuminating. He also said that if he felt he could no longer be beneficial to me, (which wasn't the case at all) it was his ethical responsibility to tell me so and to assist me in finding another therapist. That gave me a great sense of relief as well as freedom. I'm prone to sublimating my own wishes to keep others happy (one of the psychological factors in the depression) and I came to fully realize that I don't have to "take care" of my therapist. The only person I have to worry about during therapy is me.
Not to be argumentative, but someone used the term "upper hand" which I find detrimental in a therapeutic relationship, whether with a medical doctor or therapist. I am the client and always retain ultimate control in the relationship. However, the working relationship should be teamwork in my opinion, not a competition.
Additionally, if your doc gets upset because you expressed how you were feeling, HE has a problem. On that point, I have unhesitatingly fired doctors who were incapable of listening. I didn't ask that they agree with me, but if they weren't capable or willing to listen, there was NO way in hell I'd continue the relationship.
I recently went through a disagreement with my physician over meds. Actually, we had a knock-down, drag-out fight. LOL He agreed to let me do what I wanted with the meds with an agreement from me to report both negative and positive results so that, if necessary, adjustments could be made. Medicine is an art, not a true science yet. There has to be mutual trust.
poster:coral
thread:47132
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20001022/msgs/47157.html