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Definitely Not Your Fault

Posted by Noa on August 11, 2000, at 19:11:03

In reply to Thx tdaneen, posted by Kath on August 11, 2000, at 17:21:41

Most definitely not your fault. I agree with Oddzilla--if this is not his usual way of acting, it might represent a medical problem that is causing the behavioral disinhibition. An evaluation is in order.

Nothing you did contributed to his inappropriate behavior. You were trying hard to get out of the situation without hurting him.

I agree with the others who say don't put yourself back into the situation. Have your husband deal with him from now on. Including arranging an evaluation.

If you find yourself in contact with him, by phone or in person, be very firm and direct about boundaries. Your sense of safety comes first. You can say directly that his behavior is inappropriate and to stop, and then remove yourself by hanging up the phone, leaving, etc. Get someone else to help him with the things you have been doing (laundry, etc.)

Glad you shared that here, and went for support out there. It sounds like it was an awful experience, and remember, it was not your fault or responsibility.


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